Pheromones

Posted on by Jazmine Lee

 

His stubble grazing her skin

Feeling the warmth of his breath

On her inner thigh. 

She melts into the bed as she takes a deep breath. 

Inhaling her scent, blood rushes to his membership.

Slowly separating her lips, his eyes widen with admiration. 

Her pink clit starting back at him. 

He smiles just as he inhales her again.

He slowly moves his tongue across her lips, 

Bring her clit onto his tastebuds. 

She shudders. 

Feeling every wave of shock hitting her body. 

Grinding her clit across his lips, his tongue enters her, her body surrenders. 

Sticking and sucking, throbbing and pulsating. 

Her waves build. 

Firmly grasping her hips he places her back down. 

She feels his cold fingers enter inside her, as his tongue circles her clit. 

Her body shaking uncontrollably, she begs him to let her come. 

Just as her body rises and falls, he stops.

His zipper unlatching, vision blurry, he places himself inside her. 

Placing soft kisses on her cheek, he melts inside of her. 

Circling his hips, her juices spilling out, she lets out a moan. 

Pulling him closer to her, she whispers, “it’s so good to have you home”. 

ADHD, Astral Travel, & Everything In-between

Posted on by Jazmine Lee

Reading time: 8 minutes and 40 seconds

So most know the general things of what people with ADHD deal with, but not the dark and ugly things. One of the symptoms of ADHD that is not talked about is suicide. Oftentimes people go a great deal of their lives being undiagnosed. This can cause issues with confidence and low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and for some isolation. Another issue alongside being undiagnosed that a lot of neurodivergent people face is misdiagnosis. Oftentimes when being evaluated, Doctors will only see the symptoms present of anxiety and depression. These symptoms are often caused by the lack of hormones present that are needed for the brain to function properly. As time goes on lack of these hormones makes it harder for the body to regulate itself. This can show up as a lack of focus, memory issues, motivation, basic hygiene, and interest in hobbies, just to name a few. Naturally, when a doctor hears these things the first thing, they go to is depression or anxiety, but they never address the root issue of the problem.

Story Time

When the root issue is never addressed it can cause people to either attempt to commit suicide because of feeling like a prisoner living in or body, or for some the ideation of suicide as a means of escape. This brings me to my own story of how I have dealt with both suicide attempts as well as ideation. Alongside this, I speak on how after thinking that the issue had been resolved and I was on the road to healing it showed up in unexpected ways.

I have had attempts, ideations, and thoughts of suicide in the past. As time went on life was good, nothing major was taking place that impeded my mental health. Fast forward to the year 2020, it decided to reintroduce itself. I was pregnant with my daughter and had a 4-year-old son. I was in a bad place mentally that only 1-3 people knew about, and even less understood the depths of that pain. I was in the darkest place I have been in, in my life. Having to decide to bring another child earthside and potentially place myself in a position where my son, whom I suspected had autism would not get the full attention he deserved because outside of my mom, I had no major familial support that did not come with a price. So, as I lay in bed where most of my days were spent, I told myself, I cannot go a day longer, if I continue like this, I will end up killing myself. Those words echoed through my mind. As I thought, damn I have been suicide thought/ideation free for about 6 years. Why is this coming up now? Either way, I had to make a tough decision and let my daughter go.

Fast forward again to another dark time in my life, my emotions and mental health were at their worst. I was struggling to get up out of my bed, keep up with my hygiene, and be mentally present overall. The thought crept in once again. This time it took me back to an evaluation I had in January. The psychiatrist asked the big question “Have you tried to commit or have had thoughts of suicide in the past?” To which I replied “Yes.” The psychiatrist responded, so what happened to those thoughts? I said you know I do not know. She said they never went away. I was again free of those thoughts when I just placed them in my back pocket for safekeeping. 6 months later I came across a list of things that both men and women deal with when they have ADHD. “Sadness, anxiety, forgetfulness, depression, suicidal ideation….” Did I think ideation? As I had been seeing that word for months. So, I chose to google it, “suicidal ideation is when there are no attempts, but you often think of it as a means of escape.” I then realized those thoughts never left, they just transformed into something different. Someone would argue it was progress because I went from unsuccessful attempts to thoughts to ideation.

The issue with this was this was not the end of it. Upon recent revelations with a life coach, I realized again, that the ideations had resurfaced but in a new and improved form. Astral travel. I am sure you are wondering how can wanting to take your life be connected to astral travel.

You see, I have been learning since 2020 how to astral travel. Over that course of time, not only did I learn how to navigate my dreams, I learned how to control them so that I was able to come and go as I please. Allowing me to wake up at any moment when I was fed up with the dream. Around the time I was pregnant now that I think about it. Over time I became particularly good at it, to say the least. But it was not until I realized I stopped meditating at night and my sleep was of lesser quality. What hit me was that my reality was too much for my nervous system some days.

Sleep became a source of you guessed it, escapism. So now, what should have been used to help replenish my body, became a source of me energetically running rampant. Causing me to be exhausted in the mornings. So now, I am in a space where my nighttime routine MUST be intentional. I must make it a priority to shut my mind and body down, journal, brain dump, or whatever to prepare my body to rest and recharge. It blew my mind when this revelation came up in the session, simply because I told myself I thought I was breaking out of the escapism cycle, just for it to manifest in other areas of my life.

Now you see the issue with my nighttime routine is when it is not successful it bleeds into the new day ahead. I just recently started medication for my ADHD, even though the doctors only see it as anxiety and depression. So now, my mood has improved, I have been paying more attention to my body and hunger cues, my mood has been steady (for the most part), and I can get more done. But now there still tends to be a smidge of struggle with tasks. Which may or may not be fully normal. Given I have only been on medication for about a week and a few days.

Being on this medication has made me very aware of how badly ADHD/anxiety/depression can heavily affect not only a person’s day-to-day but also their mental health. It also in a sense released a fog that seemed as though it had been in my face for years. It is as though I was here, but I was not here you know. So now that I have these newfound sightings and levels of awareness, I want to use them to spread even more awareness of how ADHD impacts people. Most days ADHD feels like a silent epidemic that is slowly killing people’s spirits. Now that may not be the case for everyone, but there is a major part of the community that it has an impact on. With no one to be a soundboard for the struggles that it is we face. ADHD/Autism and many other neurological disorders have gained traction on social media, specifically TikTok. I can only hope more solutions and groundbreaking information can be discovered and spread.

Resources

Some resources that I personally use that have helped me are going to therapy, thought dumping (which consists of getting all your thoughts on paper), getting a life coach, taking spiritual baths, reading books about ADHD so that I can learn to understand myself better, taking medication, drinking herbal teas, breaking tasks up rather than trying to do everything all at once, having groceries delivered, confiding in someone you trust about the struggles you face.

Down below I will link an e-book that has helped me, along with a book for those who deal with ADHD. I have found both very helpful and insightful when it comes to gaining more knowledge. Some coping skills I have acquired and will explain below are body doubling, utilizing timers and alarms, writing important dates down in both my phone and on a calendar, buying certain foods precut, utilizing apps such as NaturalReader, having music playing during certain activities, on a rare occasion coffee just to name a few.

Tips & Tricks

Now to explain in depth what each one means:

  1. Body doubling refers to having someone present whether it be in the room or on a device such as phone call or video chat. This helps the person trying to complete a task to keep them motivated and also held accountable.
  2. Utilizing alarms and timers. Most people with ADHD deal with something called time blindness where they are not fully aware of time and can tend to get distracted. Having alarms serves as a reminder for the tasks that need to be completed. Whereas a timer helps to keep you on track and if breaks are needed allow the person a visual aid to be aware of how much time of the task is left.
  3. Writing down important dates. Doing this by phone allows me to see at any time when I have something important that is coming up. One setting that iPhones have is you can set it to give a reminder every day, or whenever you choose so that you get notified of it. I also like the idea of it making an alarm sound so that I am aware of what I have going on. As for writing them on Calendars, I love doing this because I am a visual person and on top of seeing it in my phone, having a calendar to look at every day is extremely helpful.
  4. Buying precut foods. This has been one of my best tricks yet. Having ADHD, we don’t always view things as a task, we view them as steps. So, when we are cooking, we don’t say, “Oh I have to make this, this, and this.” We view it as I have to cut this, chop this, peel this, dice this. This alone makes preparing meals more dreadful and less likely to be done. Buying certain foods that are available pre-cut saves you time and energy and makes cooking a bit easier. I also want to add to this, buying easy to make meals such as boil in a bag rice, pre-made pastas already in a sauce, snacks, fruit/meat and cheese platters, getting meals catered to substitute meal planning just to name a few.
  5. Utilizing the application Natural Reader. Y’all when I tell you this was an absolute game changer for me. I stumbled upon this while in school when I realized I could not retain anything I was reading to save my damn life. The one thing I like about this is the variety of files you can upload whether through a link, PDF, or copy and paste. It also allows you to choose the voice of the reader, the speed, and much more! An added bonus is it’s FREE, now some features do cost money, but it is rare you will need to use them.
  6. Drinking coffee. Now this will vary from person to person, but for some, the way the coffee interacts with the chemicals in the body it has a grounding/calming effect. So, it allows you to be able to focus and get things done.
  7. Lastly, having music playing. This is similar to having white/brown noise, it allows you to have some type of background noise to cancel out the noise in your mind. Which allows you to focus and get more things done.

Now, for the e-books and tools!

This a book recently written by Jane Kennedy. In her book she explains different terms, includes scenarios, goes in depth about what ADHD and how it affects the brain and the body. You can purchase her book here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CRBJDTWC

This last tip is a guide I found on TikTok by the name of Kunal Pathade. In this guide you will find 42 tips and tricks to better assist you. The e-book can be found here: https://stan.store/KunalPathade/p/get-my-templateebookcourse-now-x37hy

The Dating Games

Posted on by Jazmine Lee

Now, we have all been there when it comes to being on dating apps. It feels like every time we swipe right we never know what we are going to get. Almost like the Hunger Games of the dating world. You quickly find out that the bios of these men and women are simply just a means to showcase their greatest attributes, their failed attempts, or their inability to attract the right person due to their unresolved trauma. 

As an intuitive, from my own escapades, I have noticed how insecure men can be in the dating world. Now, for me personally tinder and those apps have never been a hit for me. People do not know how to separate their long term needs from their short term desires. Even when their are specific apps set up just for sex, men like to search in other applications where they can get girlfriend amenities, with sexual relations. Without having to actually commit. 

Since being on this dating app for Parents called Stir I have noticed that there are a lot of men with children…on dating apps…looking for sex. Or their bio will read “not looking for anything serious..we can see where this goes…if it leads to something that’s okay”. Now, as a man why do you feel getting on a dating app for parents, just to want to have a fuck buddy is okay? Why do you feel testing the water, with no intent to lead a woman to anything but an unpromised orgasm is the way to go? Is it that you are too insecure to go on general apps just for hookups in fear that women may not want you if they know that you have children? 

There was one app I stumbled upon called Pure, it’s a dating and also strictly hook ups. The one thing I loved about this app was it allowed for full transparency, no hidden motives, no guessing games with what people wanted. Most of them just want either short term or long term hook ups anyway. Which I loved about the app. It allows you to input the different types of kinks, love languages, as well as what type of foreplay you are into. Very direct I might add, and straight to the point. 

So, my question is, why are men that are parents afraid to be on apps that are geared for just sex, rather than taking up space on an app for women with children who are genuinely looking to date? Now, this isn’t to say parents don’t deserve to be on dating apps besides the ones created strictly for parents. But, why waste other people’s time, or create filler words in your bio that insinuate you aren’t sure of what you want. You know you don’t want commitment, but you also aren’t being straight forward that you just want sex? 

In episodes on my Podcast I have spoken about my dealings with men who haven’t been fully transparent as to why they are single. Or what they can stand to work on. There was one guy I dealt with who essentially dropped his whole childhood trauma on me, along with a sob story about why he and the mother of his children were not together. Upon doing some digging, and general intuitiveness, I realized it was him that was the reason for their split. Another situation, I’m talking to this guy and things were already ehh. Between the pet names, and the dry conversation I was turned off. It was not until I asked him why he was still single and he said these women just were not able to check the boxes on my list. So I asked him what exactly are those? What are you wanting/looking for? To which he replied the same thing. He essentially wanted a woman to prove they were worth him giving his time. The man with little to no conversation and referring to women in greetings as “Good Morning Cupcake”. My issue with this is, when you take your past issues and project them onto people. Now I can understand you don’t want someone playing catfish with you if you tell them what you are looking for and they soon become “The One”. But, say you meet someone who is honest and they simply tell you, I personally don’t think we are a good match, you’re not what I am looking for. I also understand honesty is not always the best policy when it comes to dating so I digress. 

Now, everyone is different. I can fully understand that some women like to make the first move, while men are receptive to that. The issue is that not a lot of men don’t know how to offer deep conversation, actually get to know someone. There have been so many instances that I have swiped left or “dislike” on a man’s profile simply because of how aggressive he comes off in his bio. Or how much he sounds like he is projecting his pain from past relationships before a woman can get a chance to even meet, let alone speak to him. After noticing this being a constant thing, I legit started copying the bio of certain men I would see, pasting it onto ChatGPT and asking “What is the issue with this bio?”. To which it often replied “Most of the info being disclosed is irrelevant”. People talking about not wasting their time, what their last ex did, not actually showcasing the good qualities about themselves, not being clear on what they are looking for. The list goes on. 

With all of these things, it has prompted me to deactivate my dating apps. Now I know there are lots of people who have success with them, or even have met their current partner. But, I am slowly realizing I want to feel someone’s energy from meeting them in person, be able to probe and ask questions, get a feel for who they are in that moment. A lot like how dating was before technology really came into play. Because let’s be real, no millennial is using Eharmony or Christian Mingle. If they are, well then you don’t hear about it often. 

What have your dating experiences been like? Are you more of an in-person dater or an online type of dater? 

Spirit Babies: Life on The Other Side

Posted on by Jazmine Lee

For most that aren’t familiar, I’ve spoken about spirit babies on my Podcast, What’s Up Under That? Spirit babies are babies of the spiritual plane, who will often communicate with you or a spiritual consultant (such as an intuitive reader, psychic, etc) on their arrival or things they’re wanting you to work through to prepare for their arrival.

Often they can be either in a baby form, toddler, teen, or even an adult. Now, I’m sure you say, how is that? While the term “Spirit Baby” isn’t synopsis to baby per se, it can truly vary in the tone in which they speak. Or the memories they hold with you from either past lives, or even your childhood, down to certain periods in your life. Some spirit babies have the duty of your Spiritual or as most call it Spirit Guide.

Some children’s responsibility is to help you with their soon-to-be siblings, some are to help you with things you may need to work on within yourself, and for some, it’s simply helping you to work and heal the relationship with your womb, to have a healthy pregnancy and carry them to term. Others may have a specific duty in life to fulfill and making sure you’re prepared to be a parent is a part of that. Think of it like this, what if Michael Jackson or Prince, or even Jhene Aikos’ parents never had them? These are spiritual beings who had a very specific purpose to fulfill and a duty on this earth. To uplift and shift the vibration of those around them through their music, and their pure intentions. Also to break the barriers of what music is. This is just a slight example to show you, one of the many ways spirit babies have a duty to this world. Even if it’s simply just you birthing them, they crave to fulfill that.

Now, there may also be times when a miscarriage happens, or an abortion and these children don’t make it. Oftentimes, it’s simply because it wasn’t the right time, the right person or the baby just wasn’t ready yet. In my own experience, I had to have an abortion. In my case, it was the wrong time and the wrong person. Yes, spirit babies can be born to the wrong people in their anxious efforts to come to earth side. In some cases, they are born to parents who have karma, never worked through said karma, and are now responsible to help transmute that and break the barriers. This can be known as generational curses. A cycle which, has been perpetually continued, until that one spirit baby is born and puts an end to all that.

Another thing I’d like to speak on is when spirit babies are in contact with their earth-side siblings. As I spoke above, about my own experience with mines, I’ve seen and bared witness to just how much they connect not only with me, their grandmother, or friends of mines to deliver messages, but with my son. It’ll be times when he gets in trouble for doing something, something that most kids would get in trouble if they had a partner in crime. Or instances where he may voice how badly he wants a baby brother or sister. Being a Gemini, that’s uncommon. As they do crave to have siblings, if not they tend to nurture the connections close to them.

It’s amazing to see the capacity in which these spirit babies will interact with you. Some may send signs such as Angel numbers (to get a full guide on Angel numbers and their meanings you can purchase mines for $1.11 here https://payhip.com/b/lZvYA), colors, numbers, and even things that they love. For example, my spirit babies (yes bringing back a friend lol) love the colors purple, and army green. What’s funny about that is, those are two of my moms’ favorite colors. So there may even be times when they tend to stay close to those around them or even family members they trust. My mom was known for tending to her grandchildren, and always remaining close. So they stayed near her before I even fully knew they existed. Which has been quite the thing to see.

There have even been instances when spirit babies are excited for their arrival, you can see their orb floating by either the mother-to-be or the father as well. In my case, some spirit babies can seem very shy at first, while others are very vocal. But, towards the end of the pregnancy, they can seem to simmer down. Either from helping the other parent, or assisting them rather, in preparation for their arrival, or simply as they prepare to come into this world. Some spirit babies prepare to meet you, while others may prepare to meet their adoptive parents. The one thing that rings true, these babies do choose their parents. Based on their karmic contract and duties to fulfill. An example is the little boy, or adult rather named Dave from the book A Child Called It. It’s crazy to think, a spirit baby would’ve chosen a brutally abusive mother, who would be the reason for all his pain and suffering. But, as Dave got older, and went on to write, over 3 books detailing his experience. In a way to not only share his story but to bring a sense of hope to those who share stories alike. Showing them they are more than their pain and trauma. They are capable and deserving of living a happy and full life. Just by him sharing what happened on his own. Not to mention, getting married, book tours, and to my knowledge, public speaking engagements.

To tie things up, the point I’m wanting to drive home is all these babies have a purpose, and strive to fulfill that in whatever way is deemed fit. So while people may say, do we choose our parents? We indeed do. What comes with that, is merely something our vessels cannot comprehend. But, our spirit knows.

Creative Juices

Posted on by Jazmine Lee

The question I had to ask myself, are you horny? Or are your creative juices begging to be played with? Now don’t get it twisted, sometimes you need to wet your whistle. But, in instances where you’re learning to call your power back and heal your womb, ehh not so much.

This was not an easy lesson let me just say this. It did show me though, aside from how sex driven people can be in this society, that there was a certain element when it comes to creativity that was lost. Where that lacked, the excessive need for instant gratification picked up. People had this expectation that if work beyond what they wanted was needed, well they weren’t doing it.

Which is more than likely why OnlyFans went up, casual sex increased, more people watching porn. It was easier to satisfy that itch when you had something readily available to digest. Now in no way shape or form is this a means of bashing sex workers, because these people are keeping them in work. At the same time, these workers can’t control who is a consumer of their content or WHY.

Now, in terms of womb or sacral energy. Our power lies in two areas, our Solar Plexus, and our Sacral Chakra. When we so easily give our power away whether it be to satisfy our ego, or to please other people. Essentially that energy we once had to pour into ourselves, is now depleted. So instead of really taking that time to pour back into ourselves, we’re searching for quick fixes.

You ever notice when you’ve just gotten done masturbating you feel drained? Or tired? In some instances this is because you have to find some way to give you a sense of energy. Now, speaking from experience. There’s been times, before I realized I had to actually be creative and do things that PLEASE ME, that I would masturbate and I was so tired after or couldn’t even put body products on.

At this time, I found out it was because after so long of putting others before myself, and doing things to make people happy as quick as possible was simply because I was avoiding doing the real work. Not so much shadow work, but the work to be HAPPY, and maintain that happiness. I was avoiding that shit like the plague.

We all may tend to think shadow work is hard to do. In some instances, facing our deep dark shadows can be scary. Almost as scary as checking your closet for monsters at night. But you wanna hear some scary shit? Maintaining happiness after you’ve released all that gunk, those bad memories, all the pain. Contrary to popular belief, while it is stated that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. It does seem as though it takes more mental and physical power to be happy.

Showing up for yourself takes work, putting your passions and hobbies before the needs of other takes work, maintaining a positive mindset so that you can show up for the things you’re passionate about takes work. It’s not something that will happen overnight, or be a 1, 2, 3 done type of deal.

It starts off as baby steps. Maybe you start looking at things on Pinterest again related to something you love, or even seeing it on your FYP on TikTok. Then one day, you’ll get this urge to do the thing, or even buy the tools needed. Once you’ve got them, you’ll feel this intense rush wash over you as you get excited about all the things you can do or create. The final moment approaches, all that time of fighting to get back to the things you love has paid off. You create.

This was exactly how I felt after not baking for months, not writing for my blog, not doing readings, not crocheting, or even taking the baby steps to explore makeup again. This overwhelming sense of joy knowing that I didn’t have to share this with anyone. I was able to have this all to myself and relish in how happy it made me. Gleaming over what I had just created. As time went on those “urges”, seemed to subside. I became more aware of the moments that I was looking for a quick fix and I could make a conscious effort to stop myself before I went down that road again.

As I close this out I do wanna say, be gentle with yourself, take your time, don’t rush getting to the bigger picture. So that when you have the baby steps to look back on, you can do so and smile.

Observing vs Absorbing

Posted on by Jazmine Lee


Reading Time: 3 minutes and 35 seconds

Recently I discovered something about my son.  He showed me the difference between transmuting energy and suppressing (or absorbing) it. Now let me tell you all the backstory behind this realization. 

I was sitting on the couch, zoned out crocheting this Queen Size Amethyst colored blanket. While doing this I noticed my mind was quiet. My thought wasn’t running rampant, everything was very settled and grounded. As I’m doing this, my son is calmly playing with his toys. Now, I say calmly because he’s usually bouncing off the walls jumping from activity to activity. I’m not always the best at managing my energy. Or finding ways to manage or allow my emotions to flow. 

This just means, what I don’t transmute, ends up being suppressed. Some ways can be, via overeating; boredom eating, mindlessly scrolling on social media, and going from task to task. While not completing a single thing. Essentially running away from my problems, or emotions I should say. Me viewing these emotions, as a problem. 

When I took the time to ground my energy, by crocheting, I noticed there wasn’t anything for him to transmute. Being a Gemini, his nervous system is always picking up something. This is why, teaching them (Geminis), to observe and not absorb is crucial. While maintaining the energy of their environment as well. Geminis are almost like Richter scales, picking up on any sudden changes that could cause a major shift in the energy. 

Now, of course, this will vary from Gem to Gem. But, per my observation over time. Geminis have to flourish in a healthy environment. They have to be taught how to discern their energy, from everyone else’s. When their nervous system goes haywire, it will, and/or can result in, alcohol and substance abuse, sex addiction, being major people pleasers, and an array of things. Especially engaging in negative behavior or social circles. 

A lot of the time, Geminis have to go through periods of isolation. This can be at random, or when dealing with mass amounts of energy. This allows them space to recharge, cleanse, and find what works for them. While also processing the information they’ve absorbed. 

Some healthy ways to help them transmute this energy at the moment are, taking deep breaths and doing check-ins, paying attention to energy shifts (observing it, vs absorbing); this will help them to avoid being the “fixer” in a situation. If able, remove themselves from the situation and/or environment. The last thing needed is to engage when emotions are high. Especially if you’re more of a react, vs a respond type of person. 

Another way to help transmute the energy is by engaging in hobbies that you love. When you’re able to redirect your energy, this allows you to detach yourself from the energy that’s present. Now, this won’t look the same all the time. As I stated in the beginning, at that time my energy wasn’t grounded. My son wasn’t in the right place mentally and kept getting frustrated. I said my peace, so instead of engaging in his behavior and absorbing it. I decided to transmute it and crochet. 

Now this is something I’ve been working on. More so because I’m a Gemini Venus. When I’m not operating in love, or doing things that I love and please me. I can be very scattered when I’m not operating from that place. This also includes doing things that please me. Checking your natal chart and seeing where Gemini falls, your 3rd house, as well as Mercury, can help to see how you can utilize that energy to keep you grounded. 

Say you have Gemini in your Venus or 2nd house. Ways you can transmute energy by doing things that de-stimulate your senses or rather soothe them. So doing puzzles, utilizing aromatherapy, taking a supplement (always consult your dr), listening to HZ sounds or binaural beats, and lastly, watching something that feels comforting. 

I will link the below calculators to human design charts I use, along with natal chart calculators. These can help you better to navigate the ways you learn to observe vs absorb the energy around you. Please be aware, your accurate birth time, date, city and state are required in order to get an accurate insight on these tools. 

Human Design: https://www.myhumandesign.com/get-your-chart/

Natal Chart: https://astro.cafeastrology.com/natal.php

Can We Add One More Pt 3

Posted on by Jazmine Lee

As I rushed out the room I realized I left my jacket…fuck. I can’t go back in there. What if she heard him? What am I gonna do if she finds out we had been fucking all this time. I stood outside pacing back and forth. I could still feel my juices running down the side of my leg. Fuck I wanted more. But was it worth the risk? I went back in their home and headed straight to the room. I peeked through the door only to see him tied up to the bed and her sitting on top of him. Ummmm I said under my breath. I know that dick must feel amazing inside her. Her pussy lips grabbing on that dick taking it in and out. I stood there watching as my juices started flowing again. I lift my dress up to have a taste and I could taste her cherry lipgloss still on my clit.

 She must’ve heard me at the door…ahhhh fuck as she throws her head back. She turns to me with these lustful eyes. She must’ve not heard what he said as she signaled me back into the room. As I stepped all the way in I could see he was blindfolded. She signals me to sit on his face…I was hesitant but she insisted. So I snatched my clothes back off and did as she said. But not without putting my juices on her lips. She looked at me and smiled. I climbed onto the bed and proceeded to sit on his face. Awwww fuck. I forgot how warm his tongue is. He must’ve tasted her cherry lip gloss and asked if it was her. She smiled at me and said no baby it’s Jay. He chuckled and said back for more I see. 

I sat there rolling my hips on his tongue smiling as he grabbed my ass. I tell Sherry to lean in and kiss me. As we start kissing I can hear her juices on his dick. She starts grinding on him harder, listening to the sound of her juices turns me on so I start fucking his face even harder. Sherry starts screaming that she’s about to come. I yell for her to stop. She looks flushed and confused. I tell her to get off I wanna come with her. She listens and gets off his dick I tell her to start grinding on my clit. As she gets Inbetween my legs I can feel her clit throbbing on my pussy. I tell her to take his blind fold off so he can watch. 

She sat there doing that same rolling motion on my clit…awww fuck her juices feel so warm. She says to me Jay your pussy is so soft…as she kept rolling her hips she starts going faster. I’m fucking her back as I feel her pussy starts throbbing. She yells I’m about to come, so I push her off of me and start sucking the shit out of her clit. She’s screaming as her body starts convulsing and her juices are shooting onto my titties. Ummmmm I hear from him in the background. I start fingering her again as she’s coming while sucking on her clit. I start moaning as I’m fingering her and I can feel her tightening up screaming I’m about to come again. 

He looks me in the eye as I’m fingering her. I can’t help but imagine how it would feel to have him inside me again…so I start moaning on her pussy even louder. Next thing I know she’s grabbing my hair grinding her clit on my tongue and we’re enjoying every minute of it. She yells out one last time “fuuuuck” before her body collapses. She barely able to move unties him and tells him to help me get cleaned up. Right after that she passed out. As I walked into the bathroom he follows me to show me where everything is. I go in and grab one of Sherry’s hair clips and a towel. I start taking my earrings off and I feel someone come up behind me. But the mirrors are foggy so I can’t see who. I laugh and say Sherry I thought you were knocked out. Until I turn around and see it’s him. 

My heart is pounding so fast it feels like it’s about to beat outta my chest. He sits me on the counter and tells me to be quiet and lean back. I grab my wash towel to bite on so I won’t be so loud. He goes down and starts slowly sucking on my clit. As he’s sucking I feel my hips raise he pushes them back down and scoots my pussy deeper into his tongue. I start biting the towel even harder until he pulls me off the counter and instructs me to bend over in the shower. I tell him no we can’t…but my body says differently. I stand there still smelling the scent of Sherrys soap. He bends me over and stuffs my tight pussy with every inch of that thick ass 9 inch dick. Ummmm, this pussy still feels exactly how I left it. He proceeds to fuck me slowly, I try to reach the towel but he puts my arm behind my back and tell me to spread my ass. He sucks his thumb and begins rubbing on my asshole. Ahhhh shit. He sticks his thumb in and starts fucking the shit outta me. I’m standing there trying to throw it back and he tells me stop moving I’m gone make him come. So I stand there in tears trying to fight back my moans. Lawd this dick feels so fucking good. 

I look back and tell him to give me all that juicy dick. I wanna feel it inside my stomach. He smiles and goes deeper…as he starts fucking me harder he takes his hand and starts grabbing my neck. Shit I can feel myself creaming. He looks down and says “yeah take all this dick for daddy. Ummm I love it when you come for me. That’s right this your dick. Come as many times as you want to. Ummm your pussy look so pretty bouncing off my dick.” I yell, cállete la boca papi. Antes de que te ecuche. I start fucking her even harder cause she knows I love when she talks me to like that. I reach to grab her towel and stuff it in her mouth. I can feel her pussy throbbing the harder I fuck her. Shit I’m about to come, but her pussy feels so warm I don’t wanna pull out. Fuck it. I start grabbing her long brown hair telling her to spread them pussy lips so she can take all this dick. 

She reached her hand back to spread it and as soon as she does I go deeper. Fuck fuck fuck I’m about to come, before I can pull out my shit start shooting inside of her. She pulls off me and starts sucking my dick. What’s left she catches it in her mouth and swallows as she sucks on my balls. Fuck my legs start shaking. She knows I hate it when she does that. She looks up with those beady eyes and smiles. I go to grab a towel to dry myself off when I hear “hey baby are you in there?”……

Twin Flame: Runner vs Chaser

Posted on by Jazmine Lee

I’m sure a lot of you have heard of this a lot whether you’re in the community or not. The terms refer to the energy that each person is in, both the divine masculine and feminine. In the beginning of the relationship there is a person who is essentially running from the connection and the other that is chasing the runner. When either party is in their chaser energy it doesn’t always just mean that person but chasing things in their life overall. Whether it be chasing validation, money, people, or for some even jobs. But in this instance, most times the chaser is chasing the other twin because, there are wounds that, that person brought to the surface. One of the most commons ones being fear of abandonment, and being codependent on this person.

One of the biggest things that triggers the fear of abandonment wounds is when the other person realizes how strong their feelings are and they essentially go ghost. This reason being because the love feels unfamiliar and within them it triggers pain from past relationships along with trauma from childhood. When it happens it causes the chaser to constantly pour into the other person in hopes that the energy is reciprocated, then once it’s not it keeps being this cycle of pain. Almost as if the chaser is fighting to get that same feeling they did or reignite that passion that was once felt in the very beginning.

But, the more that the chaser, well chases, the more the runner pulls away. It begins to feel as though they’re being smothered. Kind of like a parent child relationship when the parent wants to help the child figure things out so they love bomb them instead of allowing the child to come to term with things on their own. They do this because, they fear if they don’t keep trying to prove that, that person is worthy of their love they could lose them. This is when the manipulative tendencies of the Chaser kicks in. They start to do things not out of love, but expecting something in return. When it’s not given the chaser becomes angry and finds other things to take this out on. Or at times will energy bomb themselves into things or people lives forcibly trying to get answers as to why this keep happening. They hyper focus on the persons behavior instead of taking a step back to see and understand why they are doing things the way that they do.

Now, with the runner. The common wounds are fear of intimacy, and listening to to what their ego is telling them instead of listening to their intuition. In the beginning all the things that are genuine are what appears as them trying to get played so they run from the connection. But, its something about the person that they can’t let go of. The only issue is they can’t pin point it so essentially they sabotage the connection. Now, I feel this may be a good time to add it in. This is where people can confuse the runner as what the twin flame community calls it the karmic. The difference that I noticed is the runner doesn’t have ill intentions. He/she is simply scared of this love because their intuition is telling them this person can be trusted. While their ego is saying they’re just like all the rest and that this is a game. Whereas a karmic has ill intentions from the jump. It’s just very well disguised so that they can get what they want from this person. During this time is when it seems like a disappearing act with the runner. Kind of like a now you see me, now you don’t. The way that this can have an affect on the runners life is allowing people to enter their life that don’t mean them well. Even when the people have shown their true colors they choose not to listen to their intuition because, the ones that do them wrong are familiar. Opposed to the divine feminine it seems as though there’s a hidden motive considering the love or deep feelings isn’t something they are used to. Its almost like dealing with the whole “it’s too good to be true” ordeal. During this time the masculine/runner constantly runs into people, places, and things that remind him of the feminine. Which once again can be what draws him back. Not only that, because the chaser wants them back she keeps allowing it to happen due to lack of boundaries. This lets the runner know, no matter what he can always come running back to the connection as he pleases.

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Twin Flame Journey

Posted on by Jazmine Lee

I was originally going to write a post regarding to mirroring with the Twin Flame Journey but I figured I’d save that for another time. The biggest question that people ask is, what is a Twin Flame? A twin flame is someone of the same soul that you are reincarnated to earth with for several reasons. One of the biggest reasons being a catalyst for your healing journey.

When you first meet your twin flame it feels like a sense of recognition like you’ve known them before, almost like a sense of love at first sight. Except it isn’t your physical body that loves them, it’s your spirit. Upon meeting it feels like the cupcake stages of a relationship, everything seems so perfect and like you have so much in common. Which in all actuality you do. But then that’s when the Yellow flags start to present themselves. By Yellow I mean its subtle not too harsh things you notice about this person, but don’t pay much attention to them. Not so much because you’re ignoring them, but simply because, this is the start of the catalyst for your healing.

The first thing that you truly learn on this journey is a sense of self worth, boundaries, and how to say no. As time goes on this persons mask starts to fall and you see them for who they are. In most instances, these things were already there. The issue was the sense of love bombing that was going on and the heavy infatuation that caused you not to see the signs.

Now the biggest thing I’ve noticed with this journey is, not just the lack of accountability on the Divine Masculine’s (energy not gender) part. But the Divine feminine not taking accountability for her own actions and the things that it is that she’s allowed. In the beginning of this journey for the most part what triggers you is generally what you need to work on within yourself. Now is that to say that everything this person does will be something that’s within you? Not at all. But it will help you to see areas of your life that needed to be observed and things that needed to be changed.

The biggest lesson that I’ve learned on this journey is to ask myself “Why does this bother me? Why am I reacting in this way?”. A lot of the things this person does you won’t realize are things that you do as well, until later on. For the simple fact that healing happens in layers. Which is why for some reaching “union” feels like it takes too long. But, who said healing had a start and an end date? The main focus is going on a journey to rediscover who YOU are. Most people find this to be a task, instead of an investment into themselves. When you truly take the time out to call your power back and pour all of that energy into you. You will soon see how much you chose to neglect yourself by putting your happiness last, as means to make everyone else around you happy.

That alone is a hard truth for many people to face, why? Because at that point all the fingers that were once being pointed are directed at you. Then you see you have to take accountability for a lot of things in your life. It angers you at first when you realize not only with this connection have you so freely gave your power away. But to so many people, places, and things.

Thank you for going on this journey with me! If you’d like a part two or have any other questions feel free to send them to my email at brujastoblunts@gmail.com or send me a message on Instagram brujastoblunts.llc.

Twin Flame Truth

Posted on by Jazmine Lee

Being a Twin Flame you gotta face shit most mfs you see on a daily run from. You gotta feel pain, act as if it doesn’t hurt, then act like you’re okay. Even when you wanna fall apart. Most people speak on this, as though it’s easy shit. How manipulative the men are, and how weak and codependent the women are. 

But, folks don’t take the time to look and realize where it even came from. They don’t ask how you got that way. They don’t ask questions that are buried deep inside you that nobody knows. They don’t get to know you on a level that only God knows you at. You’re depressed and everyone acts concerned when they really just find another topic to talk about. Girls you grew up with in highschool grow up to be scarred, powerless, and unheard. You hear how a girl is fast, but never how she got there. You hear how a girl lost her virginity, but didn’t hear about how she was really raped. You don’t hear the cries of these men. Begging day in and day out for someone to hear them. Someone to see past the facade they wear like a full face of makeup. 

It’s times you get so addicted to healing and making friends with your demons. That you forget to come up for air. You drown yourself in your traumas determined to remove them all. But the trick there is you can’t. You just learn to feel your shit, sit in your shit, then you release it. Don’t allow your past to dictate who the fuck you can become in the future. 

You ain’t think about that did you? You all say a narcissist and empath paradigm. But you all don’t see how a man. Someone that wouldn’t dare speak of the shit that keeps him up at night. The shit that will have a man become an alcoholic because being sober is just tortured by Freddy Kruger when he can’t reach you in your dreams. So why not smoke, why not drink, why not turn to the streets and find what you would call family. Not by blood though. Trauma bonds that are formed by people that saw you as blood because when nobody else understood they did. 

To be continued….

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