self care

Pheromones

Posted on by Jazmine Lee

 

His stubble grazing her skin

Feeling the warmth of his breath

On her inner thigh. 

She melts into the bed as she takes a deep breath. 

Inhaling her scent, blood rushes to his membership.

Slowly separating her lips, his eyes widen with admiration. 

Her pink clit starting back at him. 

He smiles just as he inhales her again.

He slowly moves his tongue across her lips, 

Bring her clit onto his tastebuds. 

She shudders. 

Feeling every wave of shock hitting her body. 

Grinding her clit across his lips, his tongue enters her, her body surrenders. 

Sticking and sucking, throbbing and pulsating. 

Her waves build. 

Firmly grasping her hips he places her back down. 

She feels his cold fingers enter inside her, as his tongue circles her clit. 

Her body shaking uncontrollably, she begs him to let her come. 

Just as her body rises and falls, he stops.

His zipper unlatching, vision blurry, he places himself inside her. 

Placing soft kisses on her cheek, he melts inside of her. 

Circling his hips, her juices spilling out, she lets out a moan. 

Pulling him closer to her, she whispers, “it’s so good to have you home”. 

Creative Juices

Posted on by Jazmine Lee

The question I had to ask myself, are you horny? Or are your creative juices begging to be played with? Now don’t get it twisted, sometimes you need to wet your whistle. But, in instances where you’re learning to call your power back and heal your womb, ehh not so much.

This was not an easy lesson let me just say this. It did show me though, aside from how sex driven people can be in this society, that there was a certain element when it comes to creativity that was lost. Where that lacked, the excessive need for instant gratification picked up. People had this expectation that if work beyond what they wanted was needed, well they weren’t doing it.

Which is more than likely why OnlyFans went up, casual sex increased, more people watching porn. It was easier to satisfy that itch when you had something readily available to digest. Now in no way shape or form is this a means of bashing sex workers, because these people are keeping them in work. At the same time, these workers can’t control who is a consumer of their content or WHY.

Now, in terms of womb or sacral energy. Our power lies in two areas, our Solar Plexus, and our Sacral Chakra. When we so easily give our power away whether it be to satisfy our ego, or to please other people. Essentially that energy we once had to pour into ourselves, is now depleted. So instead of really taking that time to pour back into ourselves, we’re searching for quick fixes.

You ever notice when you’ve just gotten done masturbating you feel drained? Or tired? In some instances this is because you have to find some way to give you a sense of energy. Now, speaking from experience. There’s been times, before I realized I had to actually be creative and do things that PLEASE ME, that I would masturbate and I was so tired after or couldn’t even put body products on.

At this time, I found out it was because after so long of putting others before myself, and doing things to make people happy as quick as possible was simply because I was avoiding doing the real work. Not so much shadow work, but the work to be HAPPY, and maintain that happiness. I was avoiding that shit like the plague.

We all may tend to think shadow work is hard to do. In some instances, facing our deep dark shadows can be scary. Almost as scary as checking your closet for monsters at night. But you wanna hear some scary shit? Maintaining happiness after you’ve released all that gunk, those bad memories, all the pain. Contrary to popular belief, while it is stated that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. It does seem as though it takes more mental and physical power to be happy.

Showing up for yourself takes work, putting your passions and hobbies before the needs of other takes work, maintaining a positive mindset so that you can show up for the things you’re passionate about takes work. It’s not something that will happen overnight, or be a 1, 2, 3 done type of deal.

It starts off as baby steps. Maybe you start looking at things on Pinterest again related to something you love, or even seeing it on your FYP on TikTok. Then one day, you’ll get this urge to do the thing, or even buy the tools needed. Once you’ve got them, you’ll feel this intense rush wash over you as you get excited about all the things you can do or create. The final moment approaches, all that time of fighting to get back to the things you love has paid off. You create.

This was exactly how I felt after not baking for months, not writing for my blog, not doing readings, not crocheting, or even taking the baby steps to explore makeup again. This overwhelming sense of joy knowing that I didn’t have to share this with anyone. I was able to have this all to myself and relish in how happy it made me. Gleaming over what I had just created. As time went on those “urges”, seemed to subside. I became more aware of the moments that I was looking for a quick fix and I could make a conscious effort to stop myself before I went down that road again.

As I close this out I do wanna say, be gentle with yourself, take your time, don’t rush getting to the bigger picture. So that when you have the baby steps to look back on, you can do so and smile.

Nice Guys Don’t Always Finish Last

Posted on by Jazmine Lee

Y’all ever have a moment where you have a guy you’re friends with for so long and dating might have been a thought, but you never took it further? Or you guys were friends and they paid for things for you, got you out the house, and just gave you a nice little surprise treat? Only for you to find out it was only for them to pretty much “buy” their way into your pants or them buying you over period?

See this situation alone is why women don’t give men the time of day as friends, we don’t want to hug you, give you our number none of it. It’s not that we’re acting stuck up or we’re better than you. We’re just doing what necessary to keep peace in our lives and keep a guard up. But, this kind draws back to the last blog I wrote about a woman’s no not meaning yes. You can’t always try to push your way through a woman’s boundaries and expect that she’ll get tired of you trying and give you a chance. Or more so trying to force something you feel is there when in all actuality the feelings isn’t mutual at all. It’s just a one sided situation. 

A friend of mines was telling me a story about how a guy she’s really good friends with took to her and just how much they had in common. Well over time he was doing things for her, coming to see her at lunch, taking her out to lunch, all that stuff. Then during that time she felt compelled to distance herself from him. I didn’t really understand at that time and figured it might’ve been a non specific reason. So fast forward to the next couple weeks, he’s taking her out to gun ranges, then, they went out to a float spa and out to eat. Prior to going out to eat he pretty much tried to push himself into her. Not so much in a physical sense but touching her leg, leaning into her all that bullshit. Mind you this is an issue they’ve dealt with prior with him feeling it was okay to kiss her (and he’s married). She set her boundaries and he wasn’t okay which then would explain the distance. Then going back to now she sternly tells him not to do that shit again because it makes her very uncomfortable. He took offense to this and said “I did all this for you taking you out to eat, taking you to the float spa and I can’t get x y and z???”. That in itself triggered her because at this rate it’s feeling like it could lead to rape or her being sexually assaulted. So from that point on she created even further distance than what was created the first time.  

In instances like this men can’t separate their ego from what’s right. Even after her setting boundaries he still took it upon himself to go after what he wanted. The problem with this is you can’t do shit like this to women. 1. Because you never know if they could’ve been raped, molested, sexually assaulted in the past or whatever. 2. When a woman states what is and isn’t comfortable for her you don’t GET to decide if she’s playing hard to get 3. ESPECIALLY if you are married in a relationship whatever it is the case may be. You don’t use a woman as an escape plan for an issue you’re not ready to deal with.  

That alone brings me to my own story, there was this guy I was friends with on and off for about 10 years. We “talked” or dated for a very short while but down the line I figured it would be best we stayed friends because I genuinely valued out friendship. So moving isn’t a few years ago he told me he wanted to give us a chance and actually date again. I explained to him I’m at a point in my life my only focus is my son, healing, and school. So it wasn’t the right time. If he was willing to wait for me great if not ain’t shit I can do about that. This didn’t set right with I’m and he pretty much said fuck everything I just said, he’s been waiting all these years and this that and the third. But, I’m like first of all I never asked you to wait for shit. I established YEARS ago it would be best that we just be friends soooo I’m not sure what you were waiting on. Yeah at one point he did explain how it would be amazing if he lost his virginity to me, but I told him that’s something sacred and beautiful about you. Not many men remain virgins this long so I’d rather he give it to someone who deserves it. Fast forward to this year. We got back in contact after him completely dismissing me when I told him I needed to focus on myself. We caught up filled each other on what was going on in our lives and all that. I was explaining about some guys I had been dealing with where I live and giving him the run down. So he asks “when are you coming back to visit?”, I tell him it may not be until August around when school starts back depends how my money is looking (also to add I was talking to someone during the time). So I explained that and he said we should hook up when you come. Now, in my mind I’m like yeah we can meet up that’s cool. But, what he really meant was to have sex. I’m like no because that would be disrespectful to the dude I’m dealing with and I don’t view you in that way. Nor am I okay with having more than one sexual partner. He goes on to say how it’s not fair and he’s been good to me all these years and he deserves to be able to have sex with me. Wait a muthafuckng minute…you deserve? Let me run that back just in case y’all ain’t here me YOU DESERVE? I must’ve snapped the fuck off. Like first off if I tell you I’m dealing with somebody no the fuck I am not about to have sex with you, second for you to say you’ve been good to me? So what you’re telling me is, all those things you did as a friend was pretty much for a end goal for you? You know what I’m cool. I won’t even mention when I am down there to visit because you’ve crossed the line. 

After that situation I haven’t and don’t plan on speaking to him ever again. He still checks my social media but other than that no. I laid down my ground rules, set my boundaries and he still felt he could still push them to get his way. This alone is why me personally why I don’t give men the time of day, I don’t entertain them, I don’t entertain any free meals or none of that stuff. Just off the strength you NEVER know what HIS intentions are or what he could do to you.  

Now men and/or women I hope you were able to take something from reading this and realizing just because he’s a nice guy or you’re a nice guy, doesn’t mean you will always Finish Last. Sometimes you just gotta accept shit for what it is and move the fuck on. Now if you were the woman or the man in this story evaluate the role you’ve played in peoples lives and how you felt this affected you. Or hell if you’re the guy you need to take a step back and realize what was it, or who was it that told you if you keep trying you’ll get what you want because, from my friend and I’s experience this isn’t the way to go about it. No if you felt this was you in these stories go ahead and share it. If not and you know someone else could use it, share it with them……  

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Home Ain’t Always Where The Heart is

Posted on by Jazmine Lee

I’ve seen too often parents will say “oh I’m doing it for the kids” or “I’m staying for the kids”. While that may be well and true what kind of example are you setting by staying in a toxic relationship? No matter what you say, kids go off of actions. You can tell a child don’t be like me everyday, but if you’re not leading by example that won’t always be the case.

You see too often people are so concerned with wanting to keep up a certain family image, wanting to appear happy, wanting everyone to think their home is happy while suffering in that same home.

As a parent I get it, no parents wants to see their child not be able to have both parents in the home. Having to choose who’s parents home they wanna go to for holidays, birthdays, all of that. But their comes a time as a parent you have to put your happiness first and for lack of a better word say “fuck them kids”. Now don’t take this seriously y’all. I say that to say, how the fuck do you expect your children to be happy if you aren’t happy??? How do you expect to model a happy home, marriage, self love to your children if you are unable to practice that. Regardless to what you allow children to SEE they are beings of energy before anything. What you don’t always say they themselves can FEEL. Especially when an argument taken place that energy still lingers.

Being a single mom I had to make a very hard decision that my son wasn’t going to be able to have that standard picture perfect family I’d dreamt of. But you wanna know what else I told myself? It will be okay. I had to tell myself although I am not able to go on with the family I started I can always find someone else. Every day I had to say “sometimes you won’t end with the ones you started with” and that is OKAY.

One thing I do know is of importance is making sure you and that  person are mentally, emotionally, and financially stable equally to want to make a child together. Just off the strength every child deserves to have both mommy and daddy. Now that’s not to say even if you have all this that things won’t still end up going south. But it’s always good to have that foundation, that way you’re off to a good start.

All in all what I want you to take from this is don’t allow your children to suffer for you own selfishness. Sometimes the best thing you can do is leave so your children can see you happy. Will there be ups and downs to them not seeing mommy and daddy together everyday? Of course. Will they eventually get through it by you also being compassionate and understanding this is a transition for them? Most definitely. But always remember your children’s happiness starts with you being happy…..

She’s Not a Bitch, She Just Has Boundaries 🤷🏾‍♀️

Posted on by Jazmine Lee

A couple weeks ago I was in deep thought, which is normal for me most of the time. Or pretty much all the time lol. I have a friend who was venting to me about her job and saying how much she can’t stand her boss because she has this rule and that rule, and so many things she just doesn’t agree with. I sat and thought about that venting session for days and thought about how there are so many times there was shit other people did that I didn’t agree with that made them come off rude or it made me feel some type of way towards them.

But, I had to tell myself everyone had their own set of rules in place or ways they want to run their business however they want to. What’s not okay is making a conscious choice to say fuck other peoples boundaries just because, you don’t agree with them.

This may sound hypocritical as fuck because, I just recently did this. I had a friend I grew close with and it was a specific point in time I wanted to really share a point in my life I’m at right now and just my happiness and I wanted to share that with her and at that time her response as to why she didn’t want to hear it sounded shallow as fuck to me. I began placing blame on her saying that’s not fair how she didn’t wanna listen to me and blah blah blah. When she needed me I was here to listen. Then a voice in me was like but that was your choice….I’m like wait hold up what? What you mean? It said again, she didn’t ask you to sit and listen to those things, that was something you chose to do. Being my stubborn self I was like but this is what other people do with their friends and they….and the voice says again, but that’s them. Those are THEIR friendships. You cannot base what you feel someone else’s boundaries should be like off someone else’s relationship because, no two peoples limits are the same.

Now, will you always agree with a line that is drawn? No not at all, will you have to either shut the fuck up and walk away. Or shut the fuck up and honor the fact no I don’t agree with the line you’ve drawn but I respect that. In my spiritual journey that was by far one of the hardest pills I had to swallow.

Especially when you know that person already has an issue with setting their boundaries and limits, it triggered you to know that was also applicable to you. So now I’m sitting here like damn I feel like a shitty friend. All because I couldn’t respect what she had did and I felt I wasn’t being supported as a friend.

Like for weeks, I was trying to justify not speaking to her and just I would not budge on where I stood until that voice spoke to me. It made me realize just because, I personally struggle with setting boundaries when it comes to intimate relationships especially with friendships, doesn’t mean those around me have no right to set their own. So I had to ask myself did that make me angry with her not listening to what I said, or did her saying that trigger me because, I don’t have the balls when necessary to set my limits.

Growing up learning how to be a friend, I was always taught you always gotta be there for your friends. You gotta listen to every vent session they have because, that’s what being a friend was about. Just all these false expectations of what someone else should be doing. Just to get hit by reality and realize. No. None of that shit is necessary. If someone can not handle dealing with something or hearing a story because it triggers them it’s not your job to say, well if you were my friend you should listen to this, or you should do xy and z for me.

My biggest lesson I recently had to learn, not just with how I personally treat people but when rules are established. Baby girl everybody ain’t built like you. How you move and operate ain’t never gone be the same as the next person. Whether it be a friendship, relationship, business partnership none of that. We all have our own traumas, we all have gone through shit that makes us draw the line where we feel necessary. With that comes seeing not everyone will see eye to eye with it. Nor will they always agree or be okay. But, the point in the matter is if you genuinely love them you gotta honor that. You not gone like everything that’s set in place but you gotta follow it unless instructed to do other wise.

Next time a friend states something that bothers you, ask yourself why does it bother me? Is it because I don’t agree? Or is it because it could possibly be a trigger?…….

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