Here recently and in the past I’ve asked women what’s something you really wanna talk about or something you feel you need help with when it comes to your sex life? The one thing that always seemed to come up was being on top. A lot of women you’ll ask what their favorite position is and most will say doggy style, missionary, or some other random position.

Me personally I’ll have to be honest, I never cared for being on top. I absolutely hated it, I despised it entirely. But, one thing I learned is a lot of being on top can be a mental thing. Also, many people don’t think too much about it but the person you’re experiencing this with can play a huge part in the experience you have from it.

Now the things I’ve learned that help a lot but aren’t so much a requirement are knowing how to move your hips. Being on top requires a lot of leg and hip strength. When you get on top some men like it when you twerk or bounce up and down on their dick, some like it when you grind back and forth and move your hips in a circular motion as it mimics when they’re masturbating.

One of the things I personally prefer is to twerk when I’m on top. It allows me more control, I’m able to go at my own speed or if I’m listening to music I can twerk to the song. That’s why I love listening to music when I’m on top because you can allow your hips to move to the music. Then from this position you can still be intimate with your man.

With this position he can grab you by the waist to increase your speed, suck on your breast, kiss your neck, smack your ass, there’s so much you two can do in this position and it still be a very intimate heightened experience for you both.

With being on top I’ve learned the essential are moving with your hips, having some type of stimulation whether it be foreplay while on top, clitoral stimulation, where your feet are placed (huge deal), and the way your positioned so that you can have a g-spot orgasm.

Stimulation isn’t necessary but man does it make for a better orgasm. Especially clitoral stimulation. A lot of people don’t realize the reason a woman can’t come is because their g-spot isn’t being reached. Even when a woman has a vaginal orgasm it’s not due to penetration it’s because the clitoris goes beyond being just an external orgasm. When you have sex you ever notice your woman saying “you hitting my spot” or signaling you to stay where you are? That’s because you’re stimulating her g-spot. For me in order to have a g-spot orgasm I have to be either sitting up straight and leaned back some so the head of his penis is hitting that area or leaned all the way forward and bouncing up and down and doing this hits the spot repeatedly.

I know too the issue many women have is their legs getting tired so making sure you are in a spot that comfortable is key to being on top. When you’re on top placing your feet under your mans legs helps IMMENSELY to create leverage for you, it keeps you steady and in place, and gives you more control over how tired you get.

Then one last thing I feel I can’t stress enough is SWITCH THINGS UP. You don’t have to go at full speed the entire time. That’s how you get burnt out easily. Going fast and slow, stopping to let your man play with your clit, smacking your ass, or leaning in for a passionate kiss makes the world of a difference. It increases your longevity for being on top and helps to make you even wetter which is even more pleasurable for him.

Okay I lied just one more thing lol, kegels. This is another MAJOR KEY when it comes to it being amazing for you and especially him. When you’re bouncing on top having control on your vaginal muscles helps so much. Squeezing and letting go gives your man the same effect that sucking his dick and creating a seal on the head so that your mouth presses on it. Or the feeling he gets when he masturbates and squeezes the head to make himself come faster. Many don’t realize they do kegels daily, when you sneeze your vagina muscles contract and even when you have to pee. So next time if you’re in the car driving or wherever practice doing them and gradually add time. You can start off holding them for 10 seconds then move up to 20, 30, and hell maybe even make it to being able to hold it for 1 minute!

I hope you all enjoyed reading this! Don’t forget to share, comment and subscribe to be notified of when I post ❤️

Okay now y’all this topic was the most popular chosen and frequently talked about so let’s dive into it (nope pun intended). Anal sex. Why….or why not? This is something a lot of women tend to shy away from, and men make fun of because, pleasuring a woman in her forbidden hole can be viewed as a homosexual act, although they generally are open to trying it more than women. The issue some women always have or the question they frequently ask me is will it hurt? It all depends on your mood in that moment, if you’re not relaxed which if you aren’t yes, it’s going to hurt like hell. Another thing that factors into it is if you’ve had a drink, or smoked a blunt prior to, the size of the man’s dick can play a huge role in either the amount of pleasure you can receive from it, position is something as well to be mindful of not every position will work the same for every person. The most import thing can or can’t be a factor is the person you’re doing it with. In my personal opinion anal sex isn’t meant to be had with everyone for various reasons. Lastly, HYGIENE, it’s a must that you make sure you’re clean prior to doing this because the worst and most embarrassing thing is having anal sex and something more comes that you were expecting it to.

Now let’s talk about the fear behind if it’ll hurt. Ladies when you’re trying to have anal sex being RELAXED is an absolute must. So, if you need to have a few drinks, take some shots, or take a few hits off a blunt. Whatever you need to, to get you in the mood. The more relaxed you are, the easier this experience will be. Next you always wanna make sure foreplay is involved. HEAVILY involved. Me personally I love to give head prior to anal sex because something about listening to a man moan while I’m pleasing him just helps me to relax and I love doing it. Or kissing, having a man suck on your breasts, receiving oral sex can be a huge help especially if you can nut prior to then this alone will really help you to loosen up and relax. Secondly, for the men, you have to realize yes this will definitely make you feel like your fucking a virgin again and you might just nut as soon as you slide in. But you gotta remember your girl has to be warmed up in order for it to be absolutely enjoyable for her. Even if you gotta start out doing doggy style and as you’re hitting her spot slowly stick your thumb in her butt and watch how crazy it drives her. It’ll especially be even more pleasurable for you because doggy style is the easiest way to reach her g-spot. So on top of all the nerve endings you’re affecting you’re making her wet as fuck.

Now one thing that I get asked is how can I make sure I’m clean? Me personally if I know it could be a possibility I want or if it’s discussed that anal sex may be a plan I will drink nothing but water that entire day and fast, high dose on vitamin C to help completely flush my body out, use an enema, or I will do a fruit fast because your body will use most of the fruit leaving with little to none being digested. But the most fool proof thing from my experience is to just high dose on vitamin C. You just wanna make sure you do it early in the day so you’re not needing to stop right in the middle of sex to use the bathroom. One product that I absolutely cannot live without is my Juicy Kitty soap. It’s all natural, smells bomb as fuck, and intensifies your orgasm as well. I don’t know what type of black girl magic she puts in this soap but whenever and even outside of that, that I know I’m getting some dick I make sure to always use this soap.

Another thing being does size matter? Ehhhh from personal experience yes, yes, the fuck it does. But what matters even more is do you have enough lube? If lube isn’t available you can always use any massage oil, CBD oil (which I’m sure will only heighten the experience), or use coconut oil. The key to this is making sure you have enough. Which you never can when doing anal sex. If it’s your first time on top of using oil, I highly recommend using a condom as the latex will help your man or woman to slide in effortlessly. You can even take this time to include some foreplay take the oil and pour it all over her ass and slowly watch it drip down. Then as it’s dripping down use the oil to massage her pussy and work your way up to her asshole and slowly start massaging it while sliding your finger in and out. Or if you’re into it eat it from the back while massaging her hole, let her ride your face and massage it. Literally the possibilities are endless when prepping for this.

The fun part comes in, now that you’ve prepped and got yourself all hot and ready for this it’s time to loosen things up. For me setting the mood with music and making sure I have alcohol and some trees in my system is a must. Now while you’re having sex if you’re a talker you can let your partner know that you’re ready, or if you’re more into the sub and dom lifestyle as you’re fucking you can flip her over then slowly insert. I always tell people if you’re just starting out the best way is usually spooning. Then you can have her leg up, play with her breast, finger her, play with her clit, some of everything in this position. Or if you’re a bit more experienced you can have her lie on her back and criss cross her legs, put her in doggy style that way you can smack her ass, choke her (responsibly now people), pull her hair, or massage her breasts while in this position. It may be a little bit of a struggle in the beginning, but always remember to go in slow to avoid traumatizing her/him because, doing this is generally what causes people not to wanna do it again. So, take your time and enjoy the moment. Once you’re in make sure you’re checking in to see she’s doing okay. More than likely she’ll be moaning or hell she might just come right on the spot. Most importantly, men, I know things can get wild and crazy when doing anal then when you feel how wet she is wanting to go straight to her pussy. Don’t. Just don’t. Always make sure if you are about to switch to vaginal sex you remove the condom to avoid transferring any bacteria and possibly giving her a UTI.

I really hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! If you have any topics you want me to further discuss for #FreakyFriday you can email at brujastoblunts@gmail.com, message me on Facebook at Ashley K Boyd Lmt, or DM on Instagram: Smoochhh94

The Juicy Kitty soap can be purchased at http://www.juicykittyco.com