I recently read a post on Facebook that said what has your pussy ever made a man do? Then going into how toxic the responses were and how it made men blow their phone up, stalk them, all types of crazy shit.

I recently had this talk with an ex of mines how you can’t have sex with everyone because what you don’t face will manifest in them. A lot of people have some really deep issues they don’t wanna deal with or face. Sit and say, “oh I’m fine” when in all a actuality they’re far from fine. You see if crazy toxic ways show in the people you have sex with that will go to show shit you need to work on. With them blowing your phone up, within you this can be a sign of major codependency issues. Stalking can be codependency also but a sign of insecurity. The list goes on and on about what they all mean specifically.

Along with that I always tell people you are what you attract, but also what you allow. Now some may not see it that way. Just as you hear women often say, idk why I keep attracting these types of men or why I end up with xy and z guys. When you have shit you don’t wanna face you will subconsciously choose those who are just like you or how you feel about yourself and what you deserve.

You can kinda say they’re our mirror, a lot of things they do may irritate the fuck out of you. But then you may have to ask why does this bother me so much??? If you’re lucky like me you have someone close to vent to and point out the similarities and when you wanna chin check a mf to say “sorry sweetie you do the same thing”.

It grinds the hell out my gears. Like do y’all know how often I hear “you do it too”. That just goes to show sometimes what you attract is meant to show you things you need to actively work on and assess within you. Most will see stuff someone does and get fed up and move onto the next person.

Just to turn around and end up with another dude that ain’t shit. Only to find out you got some ain’t shit ass qualities about yourself that you refuse to deal with or heal from. Until you are ready to face what you don’t wanna deal with.

It comes a time as women that we need to take accountability and stop always saying these dudes aren’t shit and realize we not perfect our damn selves. We refuse to heal. We refuse to be alone and enjoy being single. We refuse to learn to love ourselves. To set boundaries, knowing when to say no, to stop seeking validation from others and do what the hell makes us happy.

Now DON’T get me wrong healing is fucking HARD. I personally started my healing journey about 4 years ago and although I’ve come very far I still have a looooot to work on currently. Luckily I’ve found someone that mirrors my issues and I’m working every day to change them, identify, and correct.

With change it doesn’t have to be oh as soon as you say it needs to change you gotta stop doing it right then and there. The first step to that is always seeing what you’re doing and acknowledging it. Once you’ve done that and you see how often you do it. Take that time out to correct it. Or even if you notice after a convo reflecting on that and asking what can you do differently next time around.

Ladies I know you weren’t expecting that but we gotta help each other aid in our growth and healing and a huge part of that is taking accountability for the men we attract and stop blaming it on them and not what we need to work on. If you feel this Blog applied to you or you know someone who can relate feel free to share and subscribe to be notified of future blogs!