Being a Twin Flame you gotta face shit most mfs you see on a daily run from. You gotta feel pain, act as if it doesn’t hurt, then act like you’re okay. Even when you wanna fall apart. Most people speak on this, as though it’s easy shit. How manipulative the men are, and how weak and codependent the women are. 

But, folks don’t take the time to look and realize where it even came from. They don’t ask how you got that way. They don’t ask questions that are buried deep inside you that nobody knows. They don’t get to know you on a level that only God knows you at. You’re depressed and everyone acts concerned when they really just find another topic to talk about. Girls you grew up with in highschool grow up to be scarred, powerless, and unheard. You hear how a girl is fast, but never how she got there. You hear how a girl lost her virginity, but didn’t hear about how she was really raped. You don’t hear the cries of these men. Begging day in and day out for someone to hear them. Someone to see past the facade they wear like a full face of makeup. 

It’s times you get so addicted to healing and making friends with your demons. That you forget to come up for air. You drown yourself in your traumas determined to remove them all. But the trick there is you can’t. You just learn to feel your shit, sit in your shit, then you release it. Don’t allow your past to dictate who the fuck you can become in the future. 

You ain’t think about that did you? You all say a narcissist and empath paradigm. But you all don’t see how a man. Someone that wouldn’t dare speak of the shit that keeps him up at night. The shit that will have a man become an alcoholic because being sober is just tortured by Freddy Kruger when he can’t reach you in your dreams. So why not smoke, why not drink, why not turn to the streets and find what you would call family. Not by blood though. Trauma bonds that are formed by people that saw you as blood because when nobody else understood they did. 

To be continued….

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Hey everyone! It’s been such a long time since I’ve posted but this is something that’s been on my mind heavy so I felt why not put it out there.

So recently there’s been a lot of talk about male trauma, childhood to be specific. One of the things that’s been heavily spoken upon is how men are forced to suppress their emotions.

I was talking with a friend and discussing his natal chart and mentioned how he needed to get in touch with his “Cancer Moon”. For those that aren’t familiar with the zodiac sign Cancer is apart of the water sign and is in control of home along with our emotional side. As most know Cancer has a rap of being one of the most emotional Zodiac signs. Which isn’t so much a bad thing, just means they love and feel things deeper than most.

Now to the point. What I meant by, get in touch with your Cancer Moon, was to embrace his emotions. As kids boys too often are told to man up, don’t cry, suck it up, or deal with emotions they aren’t taught how to work through. So, naturally that turns into anger. Then as time goes on, for a lot of men that anger becomes a security blanket. It’s there go to. It’s how they show their assertiveness. How they feel secure in themselves.

I say this to say, one thing at times we as women can tend to do is disregard their feelings when they are tired, sad, depressed, or exhausted. A friend was telling me how she was in the mood for sex but her boyfriend was mentally and physically exhausted from everything he had going on. Part of her wanted to wake him up out of his sleep to fulfill her needs. Then there was a part of her that said “how would you feel if you were in his shoes and you weren’t in the mood and he forced you to have sex?”. Then she thought to herself she’d feel disrespected and violated. So she dealt with the emotions that came with the urge cuddled her man, rubbed his back, massaged his scalp and drifted off to sleep.

Most men won’t voice this but consider they talk about their boundaries often I’m sure her boyfriend greatly appreciated her for respecting that boundary.

Too often men don’t have the chance for someone to sit them down and ask what are your boundaries? What are/aren’t you okay with? I wanna finish this off with saying if you have a man in your life whether it be a partner, boyfriend, fiancé, or husband and discuss their boundaries. You’d be surprised with what they may have to say!

I open the door and see her standing there in nothing but the trench coat I bought and her red pumps thinking to myself “oh I’m about to have fun tonight” …. babe who’s at the door? Her eyes scanning the door only to see it’s her best friend. Now they had talked about a threesome with her but she didn’t think her friend would actually agree to it. She walks in slowly admiring the setup of their bedroom inhaling the sweet scent of her friends’ body wash. She walks over to the bed and drops her trench coat asking her if she’s ready…. ready for what? She licks her lips and says me. I instantly get wet and signal for her to come here, as she walks over to the bed she tells me to take my towel off. As I slowly pull the towel off she sees my juices running down my leg dropping onto the sheets and instruct me to play with myself. Before I do she walks over to the bed and places this satin black blind fold around my eyes, as she leans in I inhale the sweet smell of her perfume as her breast graze across met face. I grab her waist and slowly start to suck on her breast, she throws her head back and lets out a moan. She reaches down putting a finger in then slowly licking the juices saying “fuck you tasted just the way I expected you too”. Bringing her hand back down slowly sticking her fingers in and out I start grinding my hips on her instructing her to go faster. I reach down and play with my clit as she continues to finger me. Oh I see y’all got started without me….I pulled my blindfold down and glared over and he was on brick between her fingering me and him standing there on hard I couldn’t resist. I looked her up and down and told them both to fuck me. I grab her by her waist and tell her to sit on my face and tell him to come and fuck me. Before she can even start grinding I feel her juices dripping down the side of my face, fuck she tastes so good and her pussy feels so soft. She starts grinding faster and fast on my face as I suck on her clit I feel it throbbing on my tongue. As I’m lying there enjoying every moment of this I feel a hand on the inside of my thigh then his warm tongue leaving trails of kisses as he gets closer my pussy is leaking and I hear him chuckle asking if she’s ready for him and I moan ummmhm. He spreads my legs open and starts pounding my shit, all I hear is him saying how good and wet this pussy is and asking who’s is it. I’m in a such a trance I forgot she was sitting on my face but by that time she had already came hearing him slurp my juices up and hopped off. She slowly walked over to the Black satin chair we had and said you two keep playing I wanna watch him fuck you. He tells me to put my legs on his souls as he starts fucking me slowly, looking down seeing all my juices on us duck just turns him on even more. I reach down to rub my clit and he speeds up, in clawing and grabbing for pillows because I just can’t take it he knows just how to hit it when I start playing without myself. As he speeds up I’m sitting there watching him tuck her just thinking how it would be good to feel that dick inside me another time. I keep sticking my fingers inside and bringing them out to taste. I stuck them back in one note time then walk over to the bed so he can taste me again then to my dismay he says out loud “fuck you taste better than you did the last time”. After that I look at him with such shock grabbing my clothes and leaving before she could have a chance to say anything to me………

As we all know sometimes when we go into a new relationship we tend to bring some baggage with us. Not all the time but, sometimes. The two things we always tend to keep in our pocket  generally are insecurity and jealousy. Most wont realize when you’ve been in a relationship you feel unappreciated those two go hand in hand.

Have you ever been in a relationship, where your partner wanted you, but didn’t respect your relationship as a whole? Or it be times you always felt you had to be on the defense about other women and it was causing you more stress than it should?

I was telling my friend an issue I had with a guy I used to date. He would always flirt with other women, always make sure their presence felt known, and would talk about them freely. Now talking about or acknowledging another woman’s beauty is something I don’t mind, I will say a woman is beautiful in a heartbeat or that this guy or that guy is handsome. But I won’t do that before making sure my man knows his beauty is acknowledged first.

This isn’t to say it’s my job to build him up so to speak, but more so I would never always go out my way to compliment another man before telling my own man damn you fine! Or you look so handsome, hell even on his worst days I will always tell him he looks handsome.

Most of the time if you’re dealing with someone that’s jealous, it’s either stemming from issues from a past relationship where boundaries weren’t set for other women/men, or it’s something that person is CURRENTLY dealing with. You gotta ask yourself, am I either 1. Willing to stay with someone who doesn’t value me as a person or 2. Willing to open up my mouth and voice how them feeling as though they don’t value our relationship or my emotional well being doesn’t feel like it’s being made a priority.

People don’t realize you can be friendly WITHOUT flirting. Folks always use I’m not flirting I’m just friendly as a cop out. As an excuse to be able to still flirt because their getting the best of both worlds. Being in a committed relationship, plus being able to still have intimacy with someone of the other sex. And yes flirting is a form of intimacy as well. Which is why it can be taken the wrong way to other people and you essentially open up the gate for people to feel it’s okay to disrespect your relationship. After that point why would anyone feel your relationship holds any value if you are showing you don’t give a fuck about it? This goes for men and women. But I know too that some people will mistake someone being nice to them as flirting due to their own personal issues and honey that’s a topic for another damn day.

All I’m saying is either value or respect that person you’re with enough to not make them feel like they aren’t worthy enough to be loved 110% or just stay single. You can’t bring single tendencies into a committed relationship it just don’t work that way. That’s a very selfish and manipulative move because, just because the last person dealt with that bullshit don’t mean the other person is or is willing to until you decide to grow the fuck up.

Ultimately, when you learn to love and respect yourself is when you will be willing to do the same for someone else. So until you learn to fully respect your own boundaries their ain’t an ounce of respect you’d be willing to give someone else. If you are willing to, it just means there will be times you’re okay with putting yourself on the back burner and tolerating what you FEEL you deserve…..

I recently read a post on Facebook that said what has your pussy ever made a man do? Then going into how toxic the responses were and how it made men blow their phone up, stalk them, all types of crazy shit.

I recently had this talk with an ex of mines how you can’t have sex with everyone because what you don’t face will manifest in them. A lot of people have some really deep issues they don’t wanna deal with or face. Sit and say, “oh I’m fine” when in all a actuality they’re far from fine. You see if crazy toxic ways show in the people you have sex with that will go to show shit you need to work on. With them blowing your phone up, within you this can be a sign of major codependency issues. Stalking can be codependency also but a sign of insecurity. The list goes on and on about what they all mean specifically.

Along with that I always tell people you are what you attract, but also what you allow. Now some may not see it that way. Just as you hear women often say, idk why I keep attracting these types of men or why I end up with xy and z guys. When you have shit you don’t wanna face you will subconsciously choose those who are just like you or how you feel about yourself and what you deserve.

You can kinda say they’re our mirror, a lot of things they do may irritate the fuck out of you. But then you may have to ask why does this bother me so much??? If you’re lucky like me you have someone close to vent to and point out the similarities and when you wanna chin check a mf to say “sorry sweetie you do the same thing”.

It grinds the hell out my gears. Like do y’all know how often I hear “you do it too”. That just goes to show sometimes what you attract is meant to show you things you need to actively work on and assess within you. Most will see stuff someone does and get fed up and move onto the next person.

Just to turn around and end up with another dude that ain’t shit. Only to find out you got some ain’t shit ass qualities about yourself that you refuse to deal with or heal from. Until you are ready to face what you don’t wanna deal with.

It comes a time as women that we need to take accountability and stop always saying these dudes aren’t shit and realize we not perfect our damn selves. We refuse to heal. We refuse to be alone and enjoy being single. We refuse to learn to love ourselves. To set boundaries, knowing when to say no, to stop seeking validation from others and do what the hell makes us happy.

Now DON’T get me wrong healing is fucking HARD. I personally started my healing journey about 4 years ago and although I’ve come very far I still have a looooot to work on currently. Luckily I’ve found someone that mirrors my issues and I’m working every day to change them, identify, and correct.

With change it doesn’t have to be oh as soon as you say it needs to change you gotta stop doing it right then and there. The first step to that is always seeing what you’re doing and acknowledging it. Once you’ve done that and you see how often you do it. Take that time out to correct it. Or even if you notice after a convo reflecting on that and asking what can you do differently next time around.

Ladies I know you weren’t expecting that but we gotta help each other aid in our growth and healing and a huge part of that is taking accountability for the men we attract and stop blaming it on them and not what we need to work on. If you feel this Blog applied to you or you know someone who can relate feel free to share and subscribe to be notified of future blogs!

Recently I was sent an article by a fellow massage therapist called “Conscious Cock”. At first I was like well that’s an eye grabbing title, then it pulled me in to read it.

I read different blogs every now and again to support and also see different perspectives on topics or ones I’ve written.

But this. This right here. Hit the nail on the head.

You see too often women are asked “Did you come”?

As a woman we all know that line can send us over the edge, or for some we’ll simply say yes to stroke or avoid hurting the mans ego.

How often do we take control of our orgasm? How often do we speak up and say “No I didn’t, but if you’re up for round two we can keep going”????

Too often we are so fixated with making sure everyone else is happy that we put our orgasm second.

A friend of mines was telling me how this guy she had met did something no other man has. He took the time to love and admire her body, he licked and sucked every inch of her, her stroked her spirit and made goosebumps rise from her skin. He took the time out to study her.

Watching her body with every move he makes, paying attention to the way her spirit communicates with him about what she does and doesn’t like.

Remaining open to changes and things that will allow her to release her sexual energy.

Viewing her as a work of art and allowing each waking moment as a time to depict what was in front of him.

Caressing every inch of her melanin skin while making sure no inch of her goes left untouched.

Now take all this in and imagine if your orgasm was made this much of a priority.

If a man asked you instead of, did you come? He asked, how many times would you like to come?

Or instead pleased you without question and gave you back to back orgasms until your body couldn’t handle it anymore.

I don’t think too many people understand the power a woman holds when she’s given the sex her spirit craves.

Giving a woman sex that makes her feel empowered will invoke sides of her you never thought could be seen with the human eye.

So next time, view your woman as a work of art. Take your time. Make her orgasm a priority every time. Then watch how the way that woman loves you changes.

You know when you’re around someone that’s in a bad mood and you can just feel every ounce of their anger, sadness, or just that they seem off? It’s literally no different when you have sex with someone. See there’s nothing wrong with having multiple sex partners, male or female. If that’s how you choose to explore your sexuality hey do what makes you happy. But, always make sure you’re doing what you need to, to protect your sexual energy. 

Most people aren’t aware of their chakras, or these focal points of energy located in the body. The seven chakras from top to bottom are your, Root, Sacral, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye, and your Crown Chakra. Your Sacral Chakra which is responsible for your sexual energy is located a few inches below your belly button. This area can also be known as your womb as well. When we have sex with people who carry negative energy, trauma from childhood sexual abuse, rape, having sex with other women who carry trauma, miscarriages, the whole nine yards. We are opening ourselves up to receiving that energy good or bad.  

That’s why for some when you’re done having sex it can feel good for that moment because you’ve just released a shit ton of your own energy. But days later or maybe even a few hours you can feel sick, nauseous, moody, or just not yourself. All this can come from taking on someone else’s energy without taking the necessary precautions to protect your own.  

Most people will think wearing condoms is enough to protect you from that but, if condoms aren’t even 100% fool proof from preventing diseases or pregnancies. It damn sure ain’t nothing but an invisible cloak when it comes to blocking out energy that you don’t want to receive.  

Some ways that you can protect your energy is infusing various herbs into your oil of preference and rubbing it on your yoni, or rubbing it on your womb prior to sex and setting your intention stating that no energies that aren’t your own aren’t welcome here. Another way is to keep protective crystals on you whether it be necklaces, rings, any type of jewelry that you can wear and won’t interfere while you’re having sex. Some amazing protective crystals which are my personal favorites are Black Tourmaline which is the damn Debo of crystals and works amazing at blocking out negative energy, Clear Quartz the universal crystal that you can pretty much speak any intention that you want and the crystal will do the rest of the work. Last but not least another amazing one that has been recommended to me is Smoky Quartz. Someone has told me this crystal is great for absorbing negative energy so even wearing it as a necklace or waist beads will help to protect you more than anything.  

As for ways to take care of the energy if you’ve taken it in, yoni eggs are one of my most favorite ways when it comes to releasing energy that isn’t my own. Sometimes it may depend on the type of yoni egg that you choose. Most people in terms of releasing energy like to pick them based on the properties that it has to offer. Some really good eggs that are good for healing sexual energy as well as protecting your energy are as stated prior Clear Quartz, Obsidian is very comparable to black tourmaline, and Rose Quartz which may be the most popular one of choice for a lot of women. The crystal is exactly in the shape of an egg, when you get it it’s best to smudge it or whatever ways works best for you to cleanse it. Some people like to place it under water, salt, a full moon, or even placing it under ground. Once you’ve allowed your crystal time to cleanse you can insert it. When you insert it, the best way to do so is in a squatting position or in this position in the shower. After you want to make sure you insert the egg with the wide side in first then once you feel it’s all the way in stand up slowly and use the muscles that help when you have to go pee and it’ll pull the egg up.  

The first time you may feel a bit of the weight from the egg, but over time you want to use the muscles in your pelvic floor to help keep the egg from falling out. The more that you use the egg over time the stronger your muscles will become. There will be times if you’re using it to release energy that as it’s doing so you may notice the wetness in your yoni increasing. Some women say It’s their bodies way of releasing the negative energy that is in their womb. Others say it can be due to the properties of their egg increasing the wetness since it does help with vaginal dryness as well.  

Lastly, the most trending right now is YONI STEAMING. This consist of a blend of herbs formulated specifically for you or all over health. You can either make them yourself or you can purchase them from someone. Steaming has been said to be very affective for women in terms of helping to release negative energy due to sexual partners, womb issues, or trauma to their womb. With the steam you want to boil 4-8 quarts of water then place the herbs in. Let them steep for about 5-10 minutes then cool so you don’t burn yourself. Once it’s cooled you can place the herbal steam into a steel bowl and sit it in the toilet (make sure it’s clean) or you can purchase a yoni steaming seat online. You’ll sit for about 30-45 minutes or until the steam is completely cool. While doing so you can drink some tea or water to help your body flush as you’re steaming, meditate, browse Facebook, or read a book. You wanna make sure while steaming you have a blanket wrapped around you to avoid any of the steam escaping.  

Now for some even with doing all this it’s not always a 100% guaranteed that all this will be effective. Only because of the fact, you’re not meant to share your sexual energy with everyone. Some people will purposely have sex with you for your energy and how it makes them feel. Others will use your yoni as an emotional dumping grounds and label it as stress relief. Same for men there are some women that just view you as a body and nothing more. Now if you’re cool with that hey, once again, DO YOU. But also realize there are things that can come from letting someone dump their emotional baggage on you…… 

Below I will list links to place you can order your waist beads as well as yoni steams! Remember protect your space and energy at all cost  🙂

Waist Beads:

• www.trulybelleco.com
• www.beadsandbalance.com
• www.etsy.com/shop/divine9designz

Yoni Steams: 

• www.juicykittyco.com 
• www.harmonyexquisiteshealing.com 
• www.natousherbalapothecary.com 
• www.pusstea.com  
• www.myyorganics.ecwid.com