Hey everyone! It’s been such a long time since I’ve posted but this is something that’s been on my mind heavy so I felt why not put it out there.
So recently there’s been a lot of talk about male trauma, childhood to be specific. One of the things that’s been heavily spoken upon is how men are forced to suppress their emotions.
I was talking with a friend and discussing his natal chart and mentioned how he needed to get in touch with his “Cancer Moon”. For those that aren’t familiar with the zodiac sign Cancer is apart of the water sign and is in control of home along with our emotional side. As most know Cancer has a rap of being one of the most emotional Zodiac signs. Which isn’t so much a bad thing, just means they love and feel things deeper than most.
Now to the point. What I meant by, get in touch with your Cancer Moon, was to embrace his emotions. As kids boys too often are told to man up, don’t cry, suck it up, or deal with emotions they aren’t taught how to work through. So, naturally that turns into anger. Then as time goes on, for a lot of men that anger becomes a security blanket. It’s there go to. It’s how they show their assertiveness. How they feel secure in themselves.
I say this to say, one thing at times we as women can tend to do is disregard their feelings when they are tired, sad, depressed, or exhausted. A friend was telling me how she was in the mood for sex but her boyfriend was mentally and physically exhausted from everything he had going on. Part of her wanted to wake him up out of his sleep to fulfill her needs. Then there was a part of her that said “how would you feel if you were in his shoes and you weren’t in the mood and he forced you to have sex?”. Then she thought to herself she’d feel disrespected and violated. So she dealt with the emotions that came with the urge cuddled her man, rubbed his back, massaged his scalp and drifted off to sleep.
Most men won’t voice this but consider they talk about their boundaries often I’m sure her boyfriend greatly appreciated her for respecting that boundary.
Too often men don’t have the chance for someone to sit them down and ask what are your boundaries? What are/aren’t you okay with? I wanna finish this off with saying if you have a man in your life whether it be a partner, boyfriend, fiancé, or husband and discuss their boundaries. You’d be surprised with what they may have to say!
I open the door and see her standing there in nothing but the trench coat I bought and her red pumps thinking to myself “oh I’m about to have fun tonight” …. babe who’s at the door? Her eyes scanning the door only to see it’s her best friend. Now they had talked about a threesome with her but she didn’t think her friend would actually agree to it. She walks in slowly admiring the setup of their bedroom inhaling the sweet scent of her friends’ body wash. She walks over to the bed and drops her trench coat asking her if she’s ready…. ready for what? She licks her lips and says me. I instantly get wet and signal for her to come here, as she walks over to the bed she tells me to take my towel off. As I slowly pull the towel off she sees my juices running down my leg dropping onto the sheets and instruct me to play with myself. Before I do she walks over to the bed and places this satin black blind fold around my eyes, as she leans in I inhale the sweet smell of her perfume as her breast graze across met face. I grab her waist and slowly start to suck on her breast, she throws her head back and lets out a moan. She reaches down putting a finger in then slowly licking the juices saying “fuck you tasted just the way I expected you too”. Bringing her hand back down slowly sticking her fingers in and out I start grinding my hips on her instructing her to go faster. I reach down and play with my clit as she continues to finger me. Oh I see y’all got started without me….I pulled my blindfold down and glared over and he was on brick between her fingering me and him standing there on hard I couldn’t resist. I looked her up and down and told them both to fuck me. I grab her by her waist and tell her to sit on my face and tell him to come and fuck me. Before she can even start grinding I feel her juices dripping down the side of my face, fuck she tastes so good and her pussy feels so soft. She starts grinding faster and fast on my face as I suck on her clit I feel it throbbing on my tongue. As I’m lying there enjoying every moment of this I feel a hand on the inside of my thigh then his warm tongue leaving trails of kisses as he gets closer my pussy is leaking and I hear him chuckle asking if she’s ready for him and I moan ummmhm. He spreads my legs open and starts pounding my shit, all I hear is him saying how good and wet this pussy is and asking who’s is it. I’m in a such a trance I forgot she was sitting on my face but by that time she had already came hearing him slurp my juices up and hopped off. She slowly walked over to the Black satin chair we had and said you two keep playing I wanna watch him fuck you. He tells me to put my legs on his souls as he starts fucking me slowly, looking down seeing all my juices on us duck just turns him on even more. I reach down to rub my clit and he speeds up, in clawing and grabbing for pillows because I just can’t take it he knows just how to hit it when I start playing without myself. As he speeds up I’m sitting there watching him tuck her just thinking how it would be good to feel that dick inside me another time. I keep sticking my fingers inside and bringing them out to taste. I stuck them back in one note time then walk over to the bed so he can taste me again then to my dismay he says out loud “fuck you taste better than you did the last time”. After that I look at him with such shock grabbing my clothes and leaving before she could have a chance to say anything to me………
How often do you make a mistake, say the wrong thing, or put yourself in a situation you know you can’t get out of? Then you’re sitting up beating yourself up. Calling yourself stupid, dumb constantly saying how you should’ve did this or that or took an alternate route? Look stop that shit you’re fucking human. You’re not perfect, you’re gonna do dumb shit. You’re gonna make mistakes, you’re gonna say things you know you shouldn’t, you’re gonna hurt people and lose ones you never thought a day in your life you’d ever lose. But, all you can do is say what’s done is done I can’t change what I did or said and move the fuck on. Now I’m sure you’ll probably say that’s easier said than done but this shit not gone come over night. You’ll keep getting put in situations that will test how you treat yourself until you just say enough is enough. One thing I’ve been doing whenever I feel myself doing that is saying, how would you feel if half the shit you say to yourself someone said to you? That would hurt your damn feelings and have you in tears. So answer me this….why is it okay for you to do that to yourself? If you don’t have an answer to that it may be time to start working on how you treat yourself…..the hardest part about this is realizing you owe yourself an apology for how you treated yourself
Okay now the topics are gonna be doing a little bit of a shift. Keep in mind I am not a nutritionist and some of these things that are said are based on research, some personal experience. Now, I’m sure y’all have seen the walk for cancer, the ribbons being plastered on food products, people at your job asking for donations to walk to fund finding the “cure” for cancer. Or when you go to the grocery store you see all the pink for breast cancer awareness month. The question with all of this is, what are we ACTUALLY making the people aware of? The damaging effects of chemo? The sky high doctor bills the patient leaves with after successfully being dubbed cancer free? The fact of how the chemo makes people lose all their hair and practically dries their body from the inside out? I’m just curious because Susan G. Komen has been representing this for years and you all mean to tell me there is still no cure?
I just recently wrote a status on Facebook stating “pure insanity is the government helping YOU look for the cure, all while making you pay for it”. You know how when you’re in the phone and at the same time looking for your phone? Or better yet when you been waiting all day for that plate of food and the person who ate it helps you look for it? That’s equivalent to what the government does with the cure. Many won’t realize the cure is in every single grocery store they go to, or every farmers market they pass by. A lot of people don’t know cancer isn’t a death sentence and it can be cured.
You see there was a documentary from the man Dr. Sebi, in this documentary he stated “when the body is alkaline, mucus has no place to go”. One of the things he stated he saw in a lot of his patients he cured was mucus. Constantly spitting out mucus and just the body releasing a lot of it. When you’re consuming foods constantly that are highly acidic to the body, the body will go into defense mode and create mucus to protect itself. The same way it does when you get sick, that’s why you’re always blowing your nose, coughing up phlegm, so on and so forth.
For your body an optimum level for its pH balance is 7.2. Most fruits and vegetables fall on the scale of being acidic or being alkaline. If it’s alkaline that’s less work for the body to do in a sense. But when you consume fruit since the body recognizes it it digests it a lot faster which is why most people don’t tend to like eating healthy because they complain of always being hungry. That alone can be the issue for most is we’ve consumed processed foods, meats, dairy and all that junk nobody truly knows what hunger should feel like or when they are just thirsty. Most of the time when you’re laying down and you feel your stomach rumbling, it’s not due to hunger. It’s the movement of peristalsis helping to navigate your food and digest it. Not so much that you’re hungry. I was telling my friend if you’re one to pay attention to your bowel movements you ever notice how some meals you at you won’t actually see it in the toilet until days later? That doesn’t seem off to you all? Cooked food and animal based food can take anywhere from 1-4 days to fully digest whereas fruit take anywhere from 20-40 minutes. Which explains why when people eat cooked food or processed food they have this conception they stay full “longer” when in all actuality your digestive system has slowed down so the sign of “hunger” takes longer to appear.
There’s quite a few different things I’ve tried that I know are tried and true and actually work. One of them being intermittent fasting. The times are up to you but, generally you fast for 16 hours, and eat during the other 8. During those 16 hours you can only drink water. Now I know for most this sounds absolutely insane. But when you’re healing your body and you learn to decipher hunger from digestion as well as thirst it becomes easier. Now once you fast is up he best thing to break your fast with is either vegetables or fruit. More than likely fruit. Considering as stated it takes a shorter amount of time to digest.
Another few that I’ve tried is vegetarian, vegan, and fruitarian. Out of them all I honestly like being fruitarian the most. Food is always accessible, it digests quickly, you have more energy, you can easily eat your daily water amount. You don’t have to worry about meal prep. It’s the cheapest of all of them, another amazing benefit is you shit a lot less because your body is using all the nutrients from what you’re eating. Now I’m not saying you HAVE to become a fruitarian it doesn’t come over night. But when you religiously eat meat and want to get healthy essentially vegan or raw vegan is your goal.
See when you need to lose weight doctors won’t tell you in order to fully get off your medicine, reverse and eliminate and diseases you may have you need to pretty much unlearn the standard American diet. Why? Because there is simply no money in healthy people. Why do y’all think even on tv they always do combinations of unhealthy food, vaccines, the flu shot, and commercials of cancer centers? It’s all programming which is why I no longer watch tv. In order to unlearn what you’ve been programmed to see you need to step away from the tv and at times social media.
Now considering how long this blog will get I’ll probably end up making a part two, to this but this is just the basis of the irony in cancer walks and donation. I truly hope you all were able to take something from this blog and take the first step to really being an advocate in your health. I know from experience it won’t be easy but self love never is. Like, share, and subscribe!
One thing that I’ve learned is, everything that other people do isn’t always directed towards you. So don’t take everything so damn personal. Now that’s easier said than done because, when you’re going through shit everything triggers you. Even when you’re not everything can rub you in a wrong way. A lot of people in order to prevent them from thinking about it will suppress those emotions, or the memories, or a situation. Sometimes it’s not even so much that we do it, our brain will do it in that moment in time to protect us in a sense.
I was just telling my mom yesterday “healing is fucking hard, it sucks, and it’s time consuming”. That’s why with anything you do it’s always good to try and take a step back and be aware of what you do or say and how it can affect someone. Sometimes that’s not always possible due to the circumstances we may be in at that moment in time. But always if you’re able be mindful of how you treat other people. You could either be playing a role in something that could potentially damage them and down the line have an effect on how they do things in life, or possibly trigger them.
Now, this isn’t to say that you have to walk on eggshells with everyone because, that’s the way society thinks now a days. You can’t say or do the wrong thing without offending someone. While there is some truth to this, I feel too it’s a cop out to be able to treat people like shit at times and label it as joking when the person gets upset or gets offended. This alone is why people have such a fucking hard time with ACCOUNTABILITY. It’s always easier to place blame on someone else for offending them, rather than accepting you were being a disrespectful asshole and didn’t think twice about what you were saying to them. People make it seem like thinking before you speak is such a hard thing to do or it’s a week long process that requires way too much effort. When in all actuality it takes a whole hell of a lot less time than you think.
Even with all of that, it draws back to if you haven’t already you need to evaluate on why things other people are doing is triggering you. It’ll be times people aren’t doing something or saying something with malicious intent specifically to hurt you. It may just be you have some unresolved trauma you need to come to terms with and work on. As I tell people all the time healing is easier said than done. You’re constantly having to hold yourself accountable, analyzing things that you do, revisiting painful moments in your life that you tried to hard to bury. The list goes on. But, using this as an example. Water also in terms of tarot cards is a symbol of our emotions, feelings, and our heart. Also, when water is in a place it shouldn’t be or stagnant so to speak it collects and picks up things that it shouldn’t and it stays there until it’s poured out or removed from the environment causing this. It’s the same with you, when you’re okay with being stagnant everything will seem like it’s piling up all at once and instead of changing your behavior or taking a look around or within to see why this is you use things to suppress it. Such as weed, alcohol, pills, other people, sex, hobbies, eating when you’re not hungry. Now this isn’t to make you feel like you’re being judged. But, it is to make you think are you doing these things because, you simply enjoy them. Or has it become out of habit and you’ve labeled them as things you like doing just because. That’s always the hardest part, having to come to terms with things that may also be considered a trigger. Then, from that point forward it causes you to be more aware of your emotions and how exactly it is that you react to something or the emotions that surface when someone triggers you. Now, I’m not saying you gotta face all your triggers in one day, but next time you notice yourself getting angry, sad, or reacting to something take a step back and ask yourself why?
I get this from people often whenever I talk about Tarot cards, Magic, the word Bruja, or anything related to tarot. Most people that I’ve asked if they ever had a reading and they say no or ask if anything bad is going to happen from the reading that they’ll receive or they will ask about references to the ouija board. Or I’ll hear from some they don’t want their future predicted. Although the gifts fall under the same category tarot readings and psychic readings are on different “magical” spectrums.
Then in terms of us being “black” magic, no magic is bad unless the intent behind it is bad. Even then that doesn’t always make it bad it just depends on the situation. Now too that goes to say if you’ve been hexed. That’s simply a witch, bruja, or whatever term you choose to use taking karma into her own hands when wrong is done onto her. Now that is not to say all people who practice magic and energy work do this, but it also doesn’t constitute as being considered black magic.
For me personally I don’t have the energy to hex, put people in a jar (form of hexing), or any of those things. I let karma and the universe do the dirty work for me. If someone has wronged me I know for every action good or bad there is a reaction to follow whether it be good or bad. Energy is like a boomerang, no matter what you put out it’s always bound to come back on you.
Now that I’ve cleared the air on that let’s talk about different types of energy work and magic that can be done and that you may not even realize you do.
The first of course being tarot. Tarot readings are something in terms of divination were deprived from the Egyptian priests, but the designs to my knowledge were created by Europeans. Although it being later found it started in Egypt. With tarot readings you can have them done in person or distant sessions. Me personally I do more distant sessions rather than in person. I can’t speak for all readers but I speak directly to your spirit and allow the energy from that to flow into my deck and show me what it is you need to do or guidance in your path. A lot of people will ask if the cards will predict your future but, in my encounter with other people’s spirits they generally aren’t interested in telling your future because, your spirit knows you better than anyone and knows there is always the possibility of you altering that. Even if it’s not intentional we have free will whether it be consciously or subconsciously. What I do is help to provide clarity to situations you feel stuck with, guidance, and when necessary provide closure. Now if you choose to just let life play out that’s perfectly fine, not everyone is or will be open to Tarot. But, that doesn’t mean because, you have a preconceived notion about something you refuse to look into the history of, doesn’t mean you should judge or shame those who want to take part in it.
Y’all ever have a moment where you have a guy you’re friends with for so long and dating might have been a thought, but you never took it further? Or you guys were friends and they paid for things for you, got you out the house, and just gave you a nice little surprise treat? Only for you to find out it was only for them to pretty much “buy” their way into your pants or them buying you over period?
See this situation alone is why women don’t give men the time of day as friends, we don’t want to hug you, give you our number none of it. It’s not that we’re acting stuck up or we’re better than you. We’re just doing what necessary to keep peace in our lives and keep a guard up. But, this kind draws back to the last blog I wrote about a woman’s no not meaning yes. You can’t always try to push your way through a woman’s boundaries and expect that she’ll get tired of you trying and give you a chance. Or more so trying to force something you feel is there when in all actuality the feelings isn’t mutual at all. It’s just a one sided situation.
A friend of mines was telling me a story about how a guy she’s really good friends with took to her and just how much they had in common. Well over time he was doing things for her, coming to see her at lunch, taking her out to lunch, all that stuff. Then during that time she felt compelled to distance herself from him. I didn’t really understand at that time and figured it might’ve been a non specific reason. So fast forward to the next couple weeks, he’s taking her out to gun ranges, then, they went out to a float spa and out to eat. Prior to going out to eat he pretty much tried to push himself into her. Not so much in a physical sense but touching her leg, leaning into her all that bullshit. Mind you this is an issue they’ve dealt with prior with him feeling it was okay to kiss her (and he’s married). She set her boundaries and he wasn’t okay which then would explain the distance. Then going back to now she sternly tells him not to do that shit again because it makes her very uncomfortable. He took offense to this and said “I did all this for you taking you out to eat, taking you to the float spa and I can’t get x y and z???”. That in itself triggered her because at this rate it’s feeling like it could lead to rape or her being sexually assaulted. So from that point on she created even further distance than what was created the first time.
In instances like this men can’t separate their ego from what’s right. Even after her setting boundaries he still took it upon himself to go after what he wanted. The problem with this is you can’t do shit like this to women. 1. Because you never know if they could’ve been raped, molested, sexually assaulted in the past or whatever. 2. When a woman states what is and isn’t comfortable for her you don’t GET to decide if she’s playing hard to get 3. ESPECIALLY if you are married in a relationship whatever it is the case may be. You don’t use a woman as an escape plan for an issue you’re not ready to deal with.
That alone brings me to my own story, there was this guy I was friends with on and off for about 10 years. We “talked” or dated for a very short while but down the line I figured it would be best we stayed friends because I genuinely valued out friendship. So moving isn’t a few years ago he told me he wanted to give us a chance and actually date again. I explained to him I’m at a point in my life my only focus is my son, healing, and school. So it wasn’t the right time. If he was willing to wait for me great if not ain’t shit I can do about that. This didn’t set right with I’m and he pretty much said fuck everything I just said, he’s been waiting all these years and this that and the third. But, I’m like first of all I never asked you to wait for shit. I established YEARS ago it would be best that we just be friends soooo I’m not sure what you were waiting on. Yeah at one point he did explain how it would be amazing if he lost his virginity to me, but I told him that’s something sacred and beautiful about you. Not many men remain virgins this long so I’d rather he give it to someone who deserves it. Fast forward to this year. We got back in contact after him completely dismissing me when I told him I needed to focus on myself. We caught up filled each other on what was going on in our lives and all that. I was explaining about some guys I had been dealing with where I live and giving him the run down. So he asks “when are you coming back to visit?”, I tell him it may not be until August around when school starts back depends how my money is looking (also to add I was talking to someone during the time). So I explained that and he said we should hook up when you come. Now, in my mind I’m like yeah we can meet up that’s cool. But, what he really meant was to have sex. I’m like no because that would be disrespectful to the dude I’m dealing with and I don’t view you in that way. Nor am I okay with having more than one sexual partner. He goes on to say how it’s not fair and he’s been good to me all these years and he deserves to be able to have sex with me. Wait a muthafuckng minute…you deserve? Let me run that back just in case y’all ain’t here me YOU DESERVE? I must’ve snapped the fuck off. Like first off if I tell you I’m dealing with somebody no the fuck I am not about to have sex with you, second for you to say you’ve been good to me? So what you’re telling me is, all those things you did as a friend was pretty much for a end goal for you? You know what I’m cool. I won’t even mention when I am down there to visit because you’ve crossed the line.
After that situation I haven’t and don’t plan on speaking to him ever again. He still checks my social media but other than that no. I laid down my ground rules, set my boundaries and he still felt he could still push them to get his way. This alone is why me personally why I don’t give men the time of day, I don’t entertain them, I don’t entertain any free meals or none of that stuff. Just off the strength you NEVER know what HIS intentions are or what he could do to you.
Now men and/or women I hope you were able to take something from reading this and realizing just because he’s a nice guy or you’re a nice guy, doesn’t mean you will always Finish Last. Sometimes you just gotta accept shit for what it is and move the fuck on. Now if you were the woman or the man in this story evaluate the role you’ve played in peoples lives and how you felt this affected you. Or hell if you’re the guy you need to take a step back and realize what was it, or who was it that told you if you keep trying you’ll get what you want because, from my friend and I’s experience this isn’t the way to go about it. No if you felt this was you in these stories go ahead and share it. If not and you know someone else could use it, share it with them……
I’ve seen too often parents
will say “oh I’m doing it for the kids” or “I’m staying for the kids”. While
that may be well and true what kind of example are you setting by staying in a
toxic relationship? No matter what you say, kids go off of actions. You can
tell a child don’t be like me everyday, but if you’re not leading by example
that won’t always be the case.
You see too often people are
so concerned with wanting to keep up a certain family image, wanting to appear
happy, wanting everyone to think their home is happy while suffering in that
same home.
As a parent I get it, no
parents wants to see their child not be able to have both parents in the home.
Having to choose who’s parents home they wanna go to for holidays, birthdays,
all of that. But their comes a time as a parent you have to put your happiness
first and for lack of a better word say “fuck them kids”. Now don’t take this
seriously y’all. I say that to say, how the fuck do you expect your children to
be happy if you aren’t happy??? How do you expect to model a happy home,
marriage, self love to your children if you are unable to practice that.
Regardless to what you allow children to SEE they are beings of energy before
anything. What you don’t always say they themselves can FEEL. Especially when
an argument taken place that energy still lingers.
Being a single mom I had to
make a very hard decision that my son wasn’t going to be able to have that
standard picture perfect family I’d dreamt of. But you wanna know what else I
told myself? It will be okay. I had to tell myself although I am not able to go
on with the family I started I can always find someone else. Every day I had to
say “sometimes you won’t end with the ones you started with” and that is OKAY.
One thing I do know is of
importance is making sure you and that
person are mentally, emotionally, and financially stable equally to want
to make a child together. Just off the strength every child deserves to have
both mommy and daddy. Now that’s not to say even if you have all this that things
won’t still end up going south. But it’s always good to have that foundation,
that way you’re off to a good start.
All in all what I want you to
take from this is don’t allow your children to suffer for you own selfishness.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is leave so your children can see you
happy. Will there be ups and downs to them not seeing mommy and daddy together
everyday? Of course. Will they eventually get through it by you also being
compassionate and understanding this is a transition for them? Most definitely.
But always remember your children’s happiness starts with you being happy…..
A couple weeks ago I was in deep thought, which is normal for me most of the time. Or pretty much all the time lol. I have a friend who was venting to me about her job and saying how much she can’t stand her boss because she has this rule and that rule, and so many things she just doesn’t agree with. I sat and thought about that venting session for days and thought about how there are so many times there was shit other people did that I didn’t agree with that made them come off rude or it made me feel some type of way towards them.
But, I had to tell myself everyone had their own set of rules in place or ways they want to run their business however they want to. What’s not okay is making a conscious choice to say fuck other peoples boundaries just because, you don’t agree with them.
This may sound hypocritical as fuck because, I just recently did this. I had a friend I grew close with and it was a specific point in time I wanted to really share a point in my life I’m at right now and just my happiness and I wanted to share that with her and at that time her response as to why she didn’t want to hear it sounded shallow as fuck to me. I began placing blame on her saying that’s not fair how she didn’t wanna listen to me and blah blah blah. When she needed me I was here to listen. Then a voice in me was like but that was your choice….I’m like wait hold up what? What you mean? It said again, she didn’t ask you to sit and listen to those things, that was something you chose to do. Being my stubborn self I was like but this is what other people do with their friends and they….and the voice says again, but that’s them. Those are THEIR friendships. You cannot base what you feel someone else’s boundaries should be like off someone else’s relationship because, no two peoples limits are the same.
Now, will you always agree with a line that is drawn? No not at all, will you have to either shut the fuck up and walk away. Or shut the fuck up and honor the fact no I don’t agree with the line you’ve drawn but I respect that. In my spiritual journey that was by far one of the hardest pills I had to swallow.
Especially when you know that person already has an issue with setting their boundaries and limits, it triggered you to know that was also applicable to you. So now I’m sitting here like damn I feel like a shitty friend. All because I couldn’t respect what she had did and I felt I wasn’t being supported as a friend.
Like for weeks, I was trying to justify not speaking to her and just I would not budge on where I stood until that voice spoke to me. It made me realize just because, I personally struggle with setting boundaries when it comes to intimate relationships especially with friendships, doesn’t mean those around me have no right to set their own. So I had to ask myself did that make me angry with her not listening to what I said, or did her saying that trigger me because, I don’t have the balls when necessary to set my limits.
Growing up learning how to be a friend, I was always taught you always gotta be there for your friends. You gotta listen to every vent session they have because, that’s what being a friend was about. Just all these false expectations of what someone else should be doing. Just to get hit by reality and realize. No. None of that shit is necessary. If someone can not handle dealing with something or hearing a story because it triggers them it’s not your job to say, well if you were my friend you should listen to this, or you should do xy and z for me.
My biggest lesson I recently had to learn, not just with how I personally treat people but when rules are established. Baby girl everybody ain’t built like you. How you move and operate ain’t never gone be the same as the next person. Whether it be a friendship, relationship, business partnership none of that. We all have our own traumas, we all have gone through shit that makes us draw the line where we feel necessary. With that comes seeing not everyone will see eye to eye with it. Nor will they always agree or be okay. But, the point in the matter is if you genuinely love them you gotta honor that. You not gone like everything that’s set in place but you gotta follow it unless instructed to do other wise.
Next time a friend states something that bothers you, ask yourself why does it bother me? Is it because I don’t agree? Or is it because it could possibly be a trigger?…….
I was on Facebook the other day and a guy I’m friends with posted a picture of him and his mom and just the way he respects women and treats them like Goddesses is something I’ve never witnessed. Then thinking that it brought me to how so many men are heartless, cold, rude towards women, see them as objects and not human beings.
So many times as women we blame men for how they act but don’t take the time out to hold the number one woman accountable, their mother. As mothers it is our job to love our sons unconditionally. With that comes allowing them to freely express their emotions, letting them see us at our weakest moment, educating them on our bodies, how we act the way we do. All the things that makes us wombman. How can you expect your child to have any sense of empathy when he can’t even see the number one woman in his life be vulnerable?
Too often we don’t want
our sons seeing us struggle, cry, having pretty much any type of emotions. Then
when they get older and start to date they expect just about every woman to
take whatever life throws at her including him. He expects his woman to be
strong no matter what. Because of course this is what his mother displayed to
him.
Now as a mom myself I get
it. You don’t WANT your children to see you struggle because as children it’s
not their job to worry. You don’t want to be an emotional burden. You don’t
wanna rob them of their childhood. But honey shit happens. If you look at those
things as a negative that is the type of light that will get shown on them. But
if you look at it as, I’m showing my son how I am not just as a mother but as a
woman he will grow up and have a lot more respect for women.
This isn’t to say if a man
doesn’t see this he won’t respect women. But he’ll have A LOT more respect so to
speak because he’s seen the woman whom gave birth to him in all states. Weight
loss, weight gain, happy, sad, depressed, angry, broke, lots of money, you get
my drift.
That alone is why as a mom
I let my son see it all. He’s seen me at all my stages good and bad. I also as
he allows me to express myself good or bad, allow him to do the same. We as
women and parents have to realize our children hold space for us
unapologetically and still love us the same. It’s time we do the same for our
suns and allow them the space to be themselves. That means the attitude, as
hard that will be. The crying, tantrums, being overly excited over something
that may seem small to us but MAJOR to them. When their feelings are hurt
helping them to understand their feelings and letting them know it’s OKAY to
feel this. Then further explaining what they are feeling so they won’t grow up
thinking something is wrong or what most have said this isn’t me.
I hope after reading this
it will help to shed some light on how our sons deserve to be loved and treated
as they are our Future…..
Brujas, Blunts, and Everything Inbetween 