One thing that I’ve learned is, everything that other people do isn’t always directed towards you. So don’t take everything so damn personal. Now that’s easier said than done because, when you’re going through shit everything triggers you. Even when you’re not everything can rub you in a wrong way. A lot of people in order to prevent them from thinking about it will suppress those emotions, or the memories, or a situation. Sometimes it’s not even so much that we do it, our brain will do it in that moment in time to protect us in a sense.
I was just telling my mom yesterday “healing is fucking hard, it sucks, and it’s time consuming”. That’s why with anything you do it’s always good to try and take a step back and be aware of what you do or say and how it can affect someone. Sometimes that’s not always possible due to the circumstances we may be in at that moment in time. But always if you’re able be mindful of how you treat other people. You could either be playing a role in something that could potentially damage them and down the line have an effect on how they do things in life, or possibly trigger them.
Now, this isn’t to say that you have to walk on eggshells with everyone because, that’s the way society thinks now a days. You can’t say or do the wrong thing without offending someone. While there is some truth to this, I feel too it’s a cop out to be able to treat people like shit at times and label it as joking when the person gets upset or gets offended. This alone is why people have such a fucking hard time with ACCOUNTABILITY. It’s always easier to place blame on someone else for offending them, rather than accepting you were being a disrespectful asshole and didn’t think twice about what you were saying to them. People make it seem like thinking before you speak is such a hard thing to do or it’s a week long process that requires way too much effort. When in all actuality it takes a whole hell of a lot less time than you think.
Even with all of that, it draws back to if you haven’t already you need to evaluate on why things other people are doing is triggering you. It’ll be times people aren’t doing something or saying something with malicious intent specifically to hurt you. It may just be you have some unresolved trauma you need to come to terms with and work on. As I tell people all the time healing is easier said than done. You’re constantly having to hold yourself accountable, analyzing things that you do, revisiting painful moments in your life that you tried to hard to bury. The list goes on. But, using this as an example. Water also in terms of tarot cards is a symbol of our emotions, feelings, and our heart. Also, when water is in a place it shouldn’t be or stagnant so to speak it collects and picks up things that it shouldn’t and it stays there until it’s poured out or removed from the environment causing this. It’s the same with you, when you’re okay with being stagnant everything will seem like it’s piling up all at once and instead of changing your behavior or taking a look around or within to see why this is you use things to suppress it. Such as weed, alcohol, pills, other people, sex, hobbies, eating when you’re not hungry. Now this isn’t to make you feel like you’re being judged. But, it is to make you think are you doing these things because, you simply enjoy them. Or has it become out of habit and you’ve labeled them as things you like doing just because. That’s always the hardest part, having to come to terms with things that may also be considered a trigger. Then, from that point forward it causes you to be more aware of your emotions and how exactly it is that you react to something or the emotions that surface when someone triggers you. Now, I’m not saying you gotta face all your triggers in one day, but next time you notice yourself getting angry, sad, or reacting to something take a step back and ask yourself why?
